深度剖析:http://www.douban.com/review/2910110/【Part1】:http://www.douban.com/photos/album/22781657/【Part2】:http://www.douban.com/photos/album/22783113/PS:内涵蛮丰富的国产动画,超赞。
免责声明:没看的先别看这帖,严重剧透;纯粹分享,不吃人参公鸡。
从一北京哥儿们的转贴里看到这东西,先话说这哥儿们本身就很有原装北京人的一点痞劲儿,无论是说的话干的事写的字看的片儿都很合本人胃口,昨天回家屋里没人,一口气开了这哥儿们转的十几个贴子,前面看了几个也是很吊的譬如EMINAM的MV,张靓影的印象西湖雨,杜蕾丝的广告等等等以后,点了这个历险记,看了个开头,然后暂停了。
看完了点开的其他窗口,关灯,点烟,从头看。
有的人见了一眼就知道这人牛逼,专业点说叫有气场,有的片儿看了一眼就知道这片儿牛逼,那口很懒的性感北京痞子腔让我一瞬间就联想到石康和王朔,后来看完发现这片儿不光牛逼,丫简直是他妈一神作。
引用网上一陌生男子对此的评价——辩证地说,《李献计历险记》,关了声音看,是纯艺术动画,画风有《黑客帝国》动画版系列的流畅跳脱范儿;关了画面听,是单口相声,语言声调儿把北京 胡同普的魅力发挥得淋漓尽致;而把台词抠出来发表,又是凄凉婉转的好小说,时间线颠倒错综,是小波那拨儿现代小说高手的把式。
如果你电脑功能齐全,画面声 音都拧得开,就会发现上面这些都不重要。
这就好像乍一美女扑面而来,你就是脸红心跳,硬,心里想的都是我该怎么表现得像是我没在想我该怎么表现。
等她过 后,智商回到正常水平,才能用逻辑去分析,哦,原来是因为脸美胸大腰细腿长,眼儿媚笑容甜,美瞳放光彩香水绕大梁。
——于是关于内容我也就实在不想再说什么了,说了也白说,我觉得这类东西吧,文字表述怎么都是空洞,这作为一个在狗屎一样的**制度和环境下诞生的片子,实在是强到令人发指。
我也实在是想不出《李献计历险记》还能有什么缺陷,从拼接到配音到配乐到情节,除了暴力爱情又结合了本人最钟爱的元素时间错乱,虽然世界上是没什么完美的东西和事,但是对于这样一个由一个人自己在家随性花了两年半做出来的二十分钟的东西,除了完美,用别的词形容似乎不大合适。
网上也看到有人不喜欢这片儿,说年轻优秀的飞行员太自恋,受众不广,不广就不广吧,人本来就是祭奠时间祭奠自己的东西,就是自己给自己做着玩的东西,还在乎什么受众。
另外,必须说一下这片子最打动我的地方,当然了,这片子从头到尾我都没觉得有一秒种的多余,一句废的台词,但唯独那一句,让我觉得年轻优秀的飞行员是个实在人,否则的话,虽然有立意,也终归逃不出装逼犯的称号。
总统女儿和李献计从山上也不是楼上跳下去:“你做的这一切就只是为了一女孩?
”“其实就是为了自己,能从分手后的世界顺利逃走。
”实在。
多少个恶心博文什么他妈逼亲们说如果爱请深爱可他是风一样的男子瞬间把我的优雅撕碎什么他妈逼不要离开我好么哪儿哪儿会有傻逼替我爱你么,多少个二逼青年喝多了搂着他哥们痛恸或者对着月亮怒吼她为什么不爱我,等等等之类的,你们扪心自问,你们丫到底爱TA吗,或者根本就是心里明镜儿的但就是成心要装逼,那么多年都过了样儿都想不起来还爱TA个屁呀。
其实谁都会有点什么事,想起来就纠心,不过绝不可能因为你我他分别爱着ABC,而是因为我们都爱着曾经属于自己的青春,至于某一个人,只不过是在那个时间恰好出现在青春上的寄托品。
所以实在的年轻优秀的飞行员随性搞出这么个祭奠自己的东西,牛逼大了。
20分钟的片子放完了开开灯,好像看过一场漫长的电影。
转载,原作者http://www.douban.com/people/3806532/
整部片让我最欣赏的,就是台词。
提醒一下,以下内容全是剧透——————————————————————100:00:12,300 --> 00:00:15,330等等,他有话说。
200:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,320王倩300:00:39,310 --> 00:00:41,060王倩400:01:08,050 --> 00:01:10,120操你大爷!
500:01:10,130 --> 00:01:13,110这个被游戏气得砸电视的是一小日本600:01:13,140 --> 00:01:15,000他来中国大概一个月了700:01:15,030 --> 00:01:17,000芳龄28,正是血气方刚800:01:17,060 --> 00:01:19,240我受够了!
900:01:19,370 --> 00:01:21,200看我手指都他妈流血了!
1000:01:21,270 --> 00:01:22,300都怪这破游戏!
1100:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,000我每天玩20个小时1200:01:24,060 --> 00:01:25,980每小时按键上万次1300:01:26,030 --> 00:01:27,000我从来没为一款游戏付出这么多!
1400:01:27,010 --> 00:01:29,090现在我算是知道了1500:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,000根本没人能玩穿这2b游戏!
1600:01:31,030 --> 00:01:33,000你跟你的破游戏都去死吧!
1700:01:33,041 --> 00:01:35,341去死吧!!
去死吧!!
去死吧!!
1800:01:36,260 --> 00:01:38,900这屋里的另外一个人叫李献计1900:01:38,950 --> 00:01:41,120他温文尔雅、知书达理2000:01:41,140 --> 00:01:43,900从来不会被冲动所控制2100:01:48,350 --> 00:01:51,010可那说的是他50岁以后2200:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,500李献计当年252300:01:53,550 --> 00:01:56,120在悠久的中日友好关系史上2400:01:56,150 --> 00:01:58,510点下了小黑点儿2500:02:20,010 --> 00:02:23,660算上今天的,你已经7次把我打昏了2600:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,000不到俩月,7次2700:02:26,010 --> 00:02:28,070平均一个月3.5次2800:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,210平均一个星期0.875次2900:02:31,530 --> 00:02:34,000平均每天0.125次3000:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,180平均每小时0.005...3100:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,000差不多行了,日本祥林嫂3200:02:37,005 --> 00:02:38,045打击日本侵略者3300:02:38,050 --> 00:02:40,890是我们每个公民应尽的义务3400:02:41,740 --> 00:02:43,300可是私下里就咱俩吧3500:02:43,310 --> 00:02:45,570我是真不想欺负你3600:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,130关键我控制不住自己3700:02:48,150 --> 00:02:50,050我是一病人啊3800:02:50,060 --> 00:02:51,320李献计没瞎说3900:02:51,570 --> 00:02:53,280他得的这病叫差时症4000:02:53,370 --> 00:02:56,050临床上表现为把一段很短的时间4100:02:56,060 --> 00:02:57,790在感觉上漫长化4200:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,740就好比刚才那小日本4300:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,090在被放倒之前4400:03:01,330 --> 00:03:03,130一共才抱怨了27秒4500:03:03,460 --> 00:03:05,100而在李献计眼里4600:03:05,405 --> 00:03:07,890每秒都被延伸到无比漫长4700:03:08,362 --> 00:03:09,844好像永无尽头4800:03:10,101 --> 00:03:12,114这种幻觉直接作用于身体4900:03:12,353 --> 00:03:14,198李献计觉得口干舌燥5000:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,365头疼欲裂5100:03:15,650 --> 00:03:17,333而且特别的不振作5200:03:17,662 --> 00:03:19,505所以必须抽之5300:03:21,226 --> 00:03:22,440得,跳闸了5400:03:22,444 --> 00:03:24,137别急,一会儿就来电5500:03:24,904 --> 00:03:26,729手机先给你,照着点儿5600:03:26,903 --> 00:03:27,904谢谢啊!
5700:03:28,009 --> 00:03:29,894别客气,你也怪不容易的5800:03:30,249 --> 00:03:31,902说...说得也是啊...5900:03:34,552 --> 00:03:37,489对了,这游戏你玩儿很长时间了吧?
6000:03:37,507 --> 00:03:39,171嗯,玩了有一段了6100:03:39,527 --> 00:03:40,529好厉害啊!
6200:03:41,373 --> 00:03:43,198可你的手指看上去完全没有受伤6300:03:43,785 --> 00:03:45,409因为我把它们都换成了铁质的6400:03:46,828 --> 00:03:47,608——你的手指?
——对!
6500:03:47,664 --> 00:03:48,355什么时候?
6600:03:48,385 --> 00:03:50,000卖肾的时候顺手就换了6700:03:50,008 --> 00:03:51,951卖肾?
可为什么啊!
6800:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,311为了能让您来中国6900:03:53,337 --> 00:03:54,559你是说...7000:03:54,896 --> 00:03:56,180我?
7100:04:04,027 --> 00:04:07,243《李莲英走了》今天请来的嘉宾叫李献计7200:04:07,250 --> 00:04:10,380他现在不计成本地想要打穿一款游戏7300:04:10,385 --> 00:04:12,759甚至不惜把肾卖掉,为了这款游戏7400:04:13,249 --> 00:04:16,066忍受了许多人没有办法忍受的痛苦7500:04:16,482 --> 00:04:18,155所以,献计你为什么这么肯定7600:04:18,434 --> 00:04:20,498这款游戏就一定能被你打穿呢?
7700:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,524也许它本身就是一个恶作剧7800:04:22,876 --> 00:04:24,148根本没有人能打穿7900:04:24,906 --> 00:04:26,432事实上你说这问题8000:04:26,591 --> 00:04:27,693我从来就没担心过8100:04:28,179 --> 00:04:30,303因为我看见有人把它打穿了8200:04:30,999 --> 00:04:33,273所以玩穿后会怎样呢?
8300:04:33,455 --> 00:04:34,777到时候会打开一扇门8400:04:35,065 --> 00:04:37,529走进去就能回到自己的过去8500:04:37,962 --> 00:04:40,037所以什么样的错都可以修正8600:04:40,737 --> 00:04:42,192嗯,是个蛮感人的故事8700:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,735好吧就算你能够时间旅行的话8800:04:44,889 --> 00:04:46,553那你想要回到什么时代呢?
8900:04:47,086 --> 00:04:48,711我只想回到和王倩分手之前9000:04:49,104 --> 00:04:50,978然后避免一些事情的发生9100:04:51,370 --> 00:04:52,443可献计你应该知道9200:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,242如果只是想和女友复合的话9300:04:54,475 --> 00:04:57,041不需要又卖肾又改造身体这么复杂的9400:04:57,633 --> 00:04:59,417你只要去跟她讲就好啦9500:05:00,569 --> 00:05:01,969你是一同性恋吧9600:05:03,099 --> 00:05:04,962事实上你内心是个姑娘9700:05:05,774 --> 00:05:08,048你特别希望能找一纯粹的爷们9800:05:08,794 --> 00:05:10,487结果有一天真让你碰上了9900:05:11,136 --> 00:05:12,429找了一辈子终于找着了10000:05:13,095 --> 00:05:15,409然后你就跑过去把心里全都说给他听10100:05:16,074 --> 00:05:17,406结果对面来一句10200:05:17,896 --> 00:05:19,310“可你该明白”10300:05:19,674 --> 00:05:22,129“纯粹的爷们需要的是纯粹的姑娘”10400:05:24,515 --> 00:05:25,928我举这例子的意思是10500:05:26,424 --> 00:05:27,627王倩跟我分手的原因10600:05:28,273 --> 00:05:29,245比这还残酷10700:05:31,000 --> 00:05:31,516那10800:05:31,977 --> 00:05:33,520究竟是怎样的原因呢?
10900:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,734好吧,我们的节目也就要结束了11000:05:39,290 --> 00:05:40,095关于这个游戏11100:05:40,100 --> 00:05:42,388我想就只好求助于日本的美元大雾了11200:05:44,206 --> 00:05:46,250作为世界上最强悍的电子竞技王者11300:05:46,728 --> 00:05:48,152他一定会对你有所帮助11400:05:48,798 --> 00:05:50,642事实上他提供的惟一帮助11500:05:50,664 --> 00:05:51,748就是给我一号码11600:05:52,103 --> 00:05:52,633号码?
11700:06:04,961 --> 00:06:08,038你好,欢迎您使用电话支付系统11800:06:08,073 --> 00:06:10,075购买k粉请按111900:06:10,076 --> 00:06:12,317冰毒请按212000:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,932海乐神请按312100:06:14,257 --> 00:06:15,891大麻请按412200:06:16,269 --> 00:06:17,972转人工请按012300:06:20,319 --> 00:06:22,042你好请问有什么需要么?
12400:06:22,128 --> 00:06:24,852我想买那种可以提高反应速度的兴奋剂12500:06:25,567 --> 00:06:28,343我们有A.B.C三种商品可供选择12600:06:28,909 --> 00:06:30,383A种商品副作用小12700:06:30,749 --> 00:06:31,811效果也最差12800:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,774C种商品效果最好12900:06:34,131 --> 00:06:35,472可副作用非常严重13000:06:36,010 --> 00:06:37,442我们推荐B类商品13100:06:37,891 --> 00:06:39,505效果虽然略逊商品C13200:06:39,922 --> 00:06:42,025可副作用却远远小于商品A13300:06:42,721 --> 00:06:44,515来一个C类商品吧13400:06:44,557 --> 00:06:47,062好的,商品报价目前为人民币50万13500:06:49,599 --> 00:06:51,102我操,能便宜点儿么13600:06:56,632 --> 00:06:57,155你好...13700:06:58,392 --> 00:06:59,063你好,请问...13800:06:59,469 --> 00:07:01,644商品C,50万现金支付13900:07:03,182 --> 00:07:05,526好的,请于晚间11:3014000:07:05,890 --> 00:07:08,114到人民公园完成购物程序14100:07:08,599 --> 00:07:10,744再次感谢您使用电话支付系统14200:07:11,249 --> 00:07:11,830晚上见14300:07:15,287 --> 00:07:15,898人民公园14400:07:16,697 --> 00:07:17,920老红军练剑14500:07:18,416 --> 00:07:20,140街道大妈蹦迪的地方14600:07:21,103 --> 00:07:22,315这真让人意外14700:07:23,777 --> 00:07:24,398我和王倩14800:07:24,863 --> 00:07:27,628也常在那无所事事地呆上一整天14900:07:28,975 --> 00:07:30,427扫视路过的人群15000:07:31,121 --> 00:07:31,920男人15100:07:32,176 --> 00:07:32,787女人15200:07:33,531 --> 00:07:34,152健康的15300:07:34,478 --> 00:07:35,080残缺的15400:07:35,738 --> 00:07:36,357年轻的15500:07:36,544 --> 00:07:37,365和老去的15600:07:38,799 --> 00:07:40,582我们一起想像这这些人的生活15700:07:40,897 --> 00:07:41,940并试图扮演他们15800:07:43,294 --> 00:07:44,767王倩和我一样有差时症15900:07:45,697 --> 00:07:47,329一天时间有时候对我们来说16000:07:47,654 --> 00:07:48,997就像几个月那么漫长16100:07:49,527 --> 00:07:50,229所以16200:07:50,568 --> 00:07:51,881我们扮演的各种人生16300:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,430加起来该有上百年16400:07:54,211 --> 00:07:55,242可王倩16500:07:55,598 --> 00:07:57,523总能令我像最初见到她时那样16600:07:58,366 --> 00:07:59,206注目着她16700:08:01,292 --> 00:08:03,545于是我不止一次地感谢自己的病16800:08:04,077 --> 00:08:05,179能让我有机会16900:08:05,636 --> 00:08:08,061以世纪为单位,和她在一起17000:08:11,552 --> 00:08:12,694我们分手后17100:08:13,071 --> 00:08:14,324人民公园在前不久17200:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,037就这么无声无息的17300:08:16,084 --> 00:08:18,250在城市规划中被夷为平地17400:08:19,181 --> 00:08:22,269所以买药姑娘和我在电话里约好的目的地17500:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,704是个已经根本不存在的地方17600:08:41,877 --> 00:08:42,989我首先想到的是17700:08:43,192 --> 00:08:45,036自己在出租车上睡着了17800:08:46,328 --> 00:08:47,179眼前就是梦境17900:08:50,967 --> 00:08:52,880当我从公园后门翻墙而入时18000:08:53,665 --> 00:08:56,349石壁上的寒冷透过手掌传遍全身18100:08:57,475 --> 00:08:59,478使这些看上去又更像是真实的18200:09:03,030 --> 00:09:04,162继续往公园深处走18300:09:04,807 --> 00:09:07,232周围开始出现一些我特别熟悉的东西18400:09:08,386 --> 00:09:11,191前边那表皮剥落得差不多的绿色长椅18500:09:13,358 --> 00:09:16,613身后大树下一小块干燥的不自然的草坪18600:09:18,491 --> 00:09:21,777井盖边上一片印着小孩脚印的水泥地18700:09:22,743 --> 00:09:24,105这些本该消失的东西18800:09:24,490 --> 00:09:27,495凶猛地标记着那些一去不回的好时光18900:09:37,935 --> 00:09:39,487我开始往前跑19000:09:42,434 --> 00:09:43,216再怎么好意思19100:09:43,391 --> 00:09:44,771我也不能让自己触景生情地跟这19200:09:45,225 --> 00:09:46,258潸然泪下吧19300:09:50,671 --> 00:09:51,485为了不那么难受19400:09:52,429 --> 00:09:55,225我开始假装自己真的在这儿碰见了王倩19500:09:56,753 --> 00:09:57,854我走上前跟她说19600:09:58,589 --> 00:10:00,593呦,没留神咱省了50万啊19700:10:00,992 --> 00:10:03,055明天上街一人来身新衣服19800:10:03,592 --> 00:10:05,386再把你旧手机给换了19900:10:06,491 --> 00:10:07,453你来台nds20000:10:07,829 --> 00:10:08,862我来台psp20100:10:09,519 --> 00:10:10,612之后买上一堆零食20200:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,115坐飞机去西藏20300:10:12,355 --> 00:10:14,180九寨沟、杜拜20400:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,182伦敦、夏威夷20500:10:16,747 --> 00:10:18,002复活节岛20600:10:18,022 --> 00:10:18,572纽约20700:10:19,011 --> 00:10:19,572巴黎20800:10:20,123 --> 00:10:20,864哥本哈根......20900:10:27,135 --> 00:10:29,030再后来,买药姑娘来电话21000:10:29,658 --> 00:10:31,462让我把钱都放到公园里21100:10:31,885 --> 00:10:33,547一台红色自动售货机里21200:10:36,483 --> 00:10:38,166这花了我很长时间21300:10:40,589 --> 00:10:41,624长到让我相信21400:10:41,671 --> 00:10:43,324人民公园的再次出现21500:10:44,276 --> 00:10:46,468事实上跟王倩毫无关系21600:11:01,625 --> 00:11:04,494你好,这里是电话支付系统21700:11:05,061 --> 00:11:06,183您的交易已完成21800:11:06,743 --> 00:11:07,965希望您购物愉快21900:11:08,638 --> 00:11:09,399后会有期22000:11:09,998 --> 00:11:11,280并祝您春节快乐22100:11:11,680 --> 00:11:12,331万事如意22200:11:21,552 --> 00:11:22,323差时症22300:11:22,895 --> 00:11:23,787我操你妈22400:11:24,592 --> 00:11:26,676李献计心里明镜儿似的知道22500:11:27,095 --> 00:11:28,438自己差时症又犯了22600:11:28,913 --> 00:11:30,185因为他分明记得22700:11:30,609 --> 00:11:31,530几个小时前22800:11:31,580 --> 00:11:33,353第一次给买药姑娘打电话22900:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,202是一个夏季的夜晚23000:11:36,017 --> 00:11:36,979当时还下着雨23100:11:37,396 --> 00:11:38,246他砍价未遂23200:11:38,483 --> 00:11:40,136被姑娘二话没说挂了电话23300:11:40,971 --> 00:11:42,545紧接着他又拨了第二次23400:11:43,423 --> 00:11:45,296并约好在人民公园见面交易23500:11:46,413 --> 00:11:48,306整个通话过程不超过5分钟23600:11:49,324 --> 00:11:50,968而事实上这两次通话之间23700:11:51,382 --> 00:11:52,875却相隔了整整一年半23800:11:53,718 --> 00:11:55,801这便是差时症的第二种临床表现23900:11:56,449 --> 00:11:57,531把一段极长的时间24000:11:57,723 --> 00:11:59,355在感官上短暂化24100:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,307在这18个月里发生了许多事儿24200:12:02,665 --> 00:12:03,979比如被拆毁的人民公园24300:12:04,350 --> 00:12:05,693在人民的强烈抗议下24400:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,202按原样重建了24500:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,124接下来,应广大观众的热烈要求24600:12:10,527 --> 00:12:11,780我们将着重介绍一下24700:12:12,016 --> 00:12:14,961李献计迅速弄到50万的成功经验24800:12:23,355 --> 00:12:24,708我必须得弄到50万24900:12:25,401 --> 00:12:26,205康熙玉玺25000:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,260值6000万25100:12:27,947 --> 00:12:28,989把它带到阿富汗25200:12:29,445 --> 00:12:30,555就给你50万25300:12:30,670 --> 00:12:31,320怎么个带法25400:12:31,612 --> 00:12:32,984我们知道你卖掉一个肾25500:12:33,310 --> 00:12:34,410玉玺可以放在那里25600:12:34,943 --> 00:12:36,285所以你要做的就是25700:12:36,475 --> 00:12:37,107换登机牌25800:12:37,396 --> 00:12:37,958过安检25900:12:38,170 --> 00:12:39,112然后上飞机26000:12:39,704 --> 00:12:40,466用你们的话说26100:12:40,555 --> 00:12:41,570就是万无一失26200:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,083你不能上飞机26300:12:43,446 --> 00:12:45,249管得着么,你哪位26400:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,132C.I.A26500:12:46,484 --> 00:12:48,587你被怀疑进行非法资金流动26600:12:48,799 --> 00:12:51,101我们知道你在肚子里藏了什么26700:12:51,495 --> 00:12:55,233但如果你同意把一颗小窃听器植入玉玺内26800:12:55,748 --> 00:12:56,809我们就不逮捕你26900:12:57,161 --> 00:12:58,224之后,当然27000:12:58,474 --> 00:13:00,169你得继续把玉玺运给我们的27100:13:00,169 --> 00:13:01,169“阿富汗朋友”27200:13:01,687 --> 00:13:03,261那帮阿富汗商人安全么27300:13:03,364 --> 00:13:05,058放心吧,都是良民27400:13:08,011 --> 00:13:09,412你正在为美国工作27500:13:10,863 --> 00:13:11,652对不对!
27600:13:11,769 --> 00:13:12,621操,悲剧了27700:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,545这些无知的老美27800:13:14,821 --> 00:13:17,056越来越让人生厌27900:13:17,615 --> 00:13:20,129当然,你今天将为此客死他乡28000:13:20,304 --> 00:13:22,789吓唬谁啊,有本事拿枪把我给毙了28100:13:24,489 --> 00:13:26,304在我离开后就杀了他28200:13:27,217 --> 00:13:28,079一般人要这样28300:13:28,535 --> 00:13:29,596肯定就给吓坏了28400:13:33,037 --> 00:13:34,119可是如果会功夫的话28500:13:36,740 --> 00:13:39,535我是来把你从阿富汗安全带走的28600:13:40,170 --> 00:13:41,753但在我们逃离这里之前28700:13:41,972 --> 00:13:43,765我必须先从那个阿富汗商人手中28800:13:43,974 --> 00:13:45,917救一个人质出来28900:13:46,221 --> 00:13:47,173这人质是谁啊29000:13:47,406 --> 00:13:48,108美国总统的女儿29100:13:48,638 --> 00:13:49,861那这阿富汗商人29200:13:50,042 --> 00:13:51,253肯定得是本拉登吧29300:13:53,420 --> 00:13:54,985他们将付出代价!
29400:13:57,643 --> 00:13:58,816来救我的特工牺牲了29500:13:59,157 --> 00:14:01,121所以我们已经跟美国失去了联系29600:14:01,974 --> 00:14:03,506要想逃出这里29700:14:05,653 --> 00:14:07,899我们就只能靠自己!
29800:14:10,986 --> 00:14:11,667那无所谓29900:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,598只要别耽误我找本拉登30000:14:17,610 --> 00:14:19,274他还拖欠我50万送货费呢30100:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,846你做的这一切就只是为了一女孩?
30200:14:37,296 --> 00:14:38,489其实就是为了自己30300:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,567能从分手后的世界顺利逃走30400:14:44,563 --> 00:14:45,926你的神不在这里30500:14:57,694 --> 00:14:58,746差时症30600:15:09,573 --> 00:15:10,546给我50万!
30700:15:10,985 --> 00:15:12,697你得买什么?
30800:15:42,181 --> 00:15:42,892献计献策30900:15:44,457 --> 00:15:45,228对不起31000:15:45,665 --> 00:15:46,665我在未来31100:15:46,749 --> 00:15:47,521把这款游戏打通了31200:15:48,644 --> 00:15:51,030所以,你把这个时代的王倩取代了31300:15:53,383 --> 00:15:56,228而且我是差时症痊愈以后的王倩31400:15:57,380 --> 00:15:58,100我跟你31500:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,407还有过去的王倩31600:16:00,290 --> 00:16:01,703已经完全不一样了31700:16:03,263 --> 00:16:03,864明白31800:16:04,266 --> 00:16:05,227不过还好31900:16:05,568 --> 00:16:07,020你把那游戏又给了我32000:16:07,977 --> 00:16:10,141这样我就能回去找原来的王倩32100:16:10,506 --> 00:16:12,660就算你回到我们最开始认识的时候32200:16:13,158 --> 00:16:14,541我们也不会在一块很久32300:16:15,521 --> 00:16:17,494因为我的差时症很快就没有了32400:16:18,536 --> 00:16:19,277我知道32500:16:19,491 --> 00:16:21,203到时候我就把这游戏再穿一次32600:16:22,343 --> 00:16:23,095献计献策32700:16:25,038 --> 00:16:26,501虽然我没法再喜欢你了32800:16:28,358 --> 00:16:29,229可你这么浪费自己32900:16:32,539 --> 00:16:33,721我心里很难过33000:16:40,013 --> 00:16:40,794都回去吧33100:16:41,326 --> 00:16:42,289我还得接着打游戏呢33200:16:42,716 --> 00:16:43,367你想过么33300:16:43,842 --> 00:16:45,114如果你一直留在现在33400:16:46,609 --> 00:16:48,161也许我们有一天还会在一起33500:16:48,382 --> 00:16:48,932那样33600:16:49,281 --> 00:16:50,919也只是因为你在可怜我吧33700:16:52,176 --> 00:16:53,178就这样吧33800:16:54,435 --> 00:16:55,146过去的王倩33900:16:55,742 --> 00:16:57,064还在等着我呢34000:17:17,494 --> 00:17:18,043最后34100:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,555像每个人期望的那样34200:17:20,542 --> 00:17:21,853李献计打穿了游戏34300:17:23,408 --> 00:17:25,161接着就真的出现了一扇门34400:17:26,370 --> 00:17:27,392他可以回到过去了34500:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,660可同时他也发现34600:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,561这样的门并不只有一扇34700:17:33,175 --> 00:17:33,975穿过这些门34800:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,778你所到达的可能是玩穿游戏的前一秒34900:17:38,064 --> 00:17:39,598也可能是刚出生的第一秒35000:17:40,609 --> 00:17:43,496李献计只想回到第一次见到王倩的时候35100:17:44,486 --> 00:17:45,027所以35200:17:45,032 --> 00:17:46,485在他找到正确的门之前35300:17:47,205 --> 00:17:48,150他就只能一遍又一遍地35400:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,150重复着之前做过的事情35500:17:51,688 --> 00:17:52,988进入一扇门后的世界35600:17:53,872 --> 00:17:54,822在那里打穿游戏35700:17:55,832 --> 00:17:57,096然后进入另外一扇门35800:17:58,171 --> 00:18:00,655并希望那里是自己想要回到的过去35900:18:02,757 --> 00:18:03,821在这个漫长的过程中36000:18:04,188 --> 00:18:05,401李献计开始变得圆滑36100:18:06,401 --> 00:18:08,885他不会再为50万而跟本拉登死磕36200:18:10,778 --> 00:18:13,973双手因为生锈而散发出奇怪难闻的气味明白31800:16:04,266 --> 00:16:05,227不过还好31900:16:05,568 --> 00:16:07,020你把那游戏又给了我32000:16:07,977 --> 00:16:10,141这样我就能回去找原来的王倩32100:16:10,506 --> 00:16:12,660就算你回到我们最开始认识的时候32200:16:13,158 --> 00:16:14,541我们也不会在一块很久32300:16:15,521 --> 00:16:17,494因为我的差时症很快就没有了32400:16:18,536 --> 00:16:19,277我知道32500:16:19,491 --> 00:16:21,203到时候我就把这游戏再穿一次32600:16:22,343 --> 00:16:23,095献计献策32700:16:25,038 --> 00:16:26,501虽然我没法再喜欢你了32800:16:28,358 --> 00:16:29,229可你这么浪费自己32900:16:32,539 --> 00:16:33,721我心里很难过33000:16:40,013 --> 00:16:40,794都回去吧33100:16:41,326 --> 00:16:42,289我还得接着打游戏呢33200:16:42,716 --> 00:16:43,367你想过么33300:16:43,842 --> 00:16:45,114如果你一直留在现在33400:16:46,609 --> 00:16:48,161也许我们有一天还会在一起33500:16:48,382 --> 00:16:48,932那样33600:16:49,281 --> 00:16:50,919也只是因为你在可怜我吧33700:16:52,176 --> 00:16:53,178就这样吧33800:16:54,435 --> 00:16:55,146过去的王倩33900:16:55,742 --> 00:16:57,064还在等着我呢34000:17:17,494 --> 00:17:18,043最后34100:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,555像每个人期望的那样34200:17:20,542 --> 00:17:21,853李献计打穿了游戏34300:17:23,408 --> 00:17:25,161接着就真的出现了一扇门34400:17:26,370 --> 00:17:27,392他可以回到过去了34500:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,660可同时他也发现34600:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,561这样的门并不只有一扇34700:17:33,175 --> 00:17:33,975穿过这些门34800:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,778你所到达的可能是玩穿游戏的前一秒34900:17:38,064 --> 00:17:39,598也可能是刚出生的第一秒35000:17:40,609 --> 00:17:43,496李献计只想回到第一次见到王倩的时候35100:17:44,486 --> 00:17:45,027所以35200:17:45,032 --> 00:17:46,485在他找到正确的门之前35300:17:47,205 --> 00:17:48,150他就只能一遍又一遍地35400:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,150重复着之前做过的事情35500:17:51,688 --> 00:17:52,988进入一扇门后的世界35600:17:53,872 --> 00:17:54,822在那里打穿游戏35700:17:55,832 --> 00:17:57,096然后进入另外一扇门35800:17:58,171 --> 00:18:00,655并希望那里是自己想要回到的过去35900:18:02,757 --> 00:18:03,821在这个漫长的过程中36000:18:04,188 --> 00:18:05,401李献计开始变得圆滑36100:18:06,401 --> 00:18:08,885他不会再为50万而跟本拉登死磕36200:18:10,778 --> 00:18:13,973双手因为生锈而散发出奇怪难闻的气味36300:18:14,942 --> 00:18:18,020皮肤也没法在夏天感受到蚊子的起落36400:18:18,747 --> 00:18:19,789他也逐渐知道36500:18:19,969 --> 00:18:21,622爱情并不是生命的全部36600:18:22,582 --> 00:18:24,456也许他可以在某扇门后停下来36700:18:25,179 --> 00:18:26,150做一些其他事儿36800:18:26,682 --> 00:18:27,844遇见一些其他的人36900:18:30,979 --> 00:18:33,234他有时候会梦见一群人向自己走来37000:18:33,944 --> 00:18:34,877王倩也在里边儿37100:18:36,013 --> 00:18:38,000可李献计却无论如何也没法记起37200:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,900王倩的样子37300:18:39,985 --> 00:18:40,967就站在那儿37400:18:41,221 --> 00:18:41,941眼睁睁地37500:18:42,024 --> 00:18:43,672跟整个人群错身而过37600:18:45,063 --> 00:18:45,974他醒来37700:18:46,374 --> 00:18:48,240像个老人一样地坐在床边37800:18:48,288 --> 00:18:49,979沮丧了很久37900:18:51,116 --> 00:18:53,551李献计又开始寻找那扇正确的门38000:18:56,466 --> 00:18:57,388直到有一天38100:18:57,697 --> 00:18:58,739他打开一扇门38200:18:59,301 --> 00:19:00,264那儿刚下完雨38300:19:00,943 --> 00:19:03,197日落前的橙色包裹着人们38400:19:03,914 --> 00:19:06,249大家看上去都比平时要高兴38500:19:07,289 --> 00:19:08,984空气既凉爽又新鲜38600:19:09,713 --> 00:19:11,507就像迎面看见的王倩38700:19:12,435 --> 00:19:13,747即使最简单的对视38800:19:14,194 --> 00:19:17,028也能刺伤李献计坚硬神经的最深处38900:19:18,413 --> 00:19:20,417那就是他第一次见到的王倩39000:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,025一点儿也没变39100:19:23,126 --> 00:19:23,727可李献计39200:19:24,198 --> 00:19:26,201却再也没法向前迈出一步39300:19:27,158 --> 00:19:29,873因为透过那些雨后留下的深渊的映照39400:19:30,941 --> 00:19:32,234他知道,这么久以来39500:19:32,737 --> 00:19:33,738他们两人之中39600:19:34,445 --> 00:19:35,176时间39700:19:35,313 --> 00:19:36,343只在自己身上39800:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,962汹涌地流逝了39900:19:42,558 --> 00:19:43,791最后李献计说40000:19:44,391 --> 00:19:45,492见到王倩时40100:19:46,235 --> 00:19:48,440就像瞬间经历了整个人生40200:19:49,444 --> 00:19:50,666心里很平静
公平点给中评!
就影片质量而言,要给一星(虽然我很想给),很多片没法评分了!
不喜欢,实话!
片中人“满口痞气”,至于这样吗?
除去声音这块,我没见过世面,没看出画面剪辑那些地方有啥精彩。
还有不喜欢一部分顶这片的人的“满口痞气”,这个B,那个B......为什么“满口痞气”到处被推崇?
不禁回想起了当年读Xing的《让岁月白发苍苍去吧》和蓬舟的《原发性爱情细胞再生障碍及继发性爱觉神经麻痹综合症》的一去不回的好时光,多么迷离的青春岁月!
记录的一些有嚼头的台词:旁白:这屋里的另外一个人叫李献计。
他温文尔雅、知书达礼,从来不会被冲动所控制。
可那说的是他50岁以后。
李献计当年25,在悠久的中日友好关系史上,点下了小黑点。
美元大雾:算上今天的,你已经7次把我打昏了。
不到两个月,7次;平均一个月3.5次;平均一个星期0.875次;平均每天0.125次;平均每小时0.005次……李献计:差不多行了啊,日本祥林嫂。
打击日本侵略者是我们每个公民应尽的义务,可是私下里就咱俩吧,我是真不想欺负你。
关键我控制不住自己,我是一病人啊。
旁白:李献计没瞎说,他得的这个病叫差时症。
临床上表现为把一段很短的时间在感觉上漫长化,就好比刚才那小日本,在被放倒之前,一共才抱怨了27秒,而在李献计眼里,每秒都被延伸到无比漫长,好像永无尽头。
这种幻觉直接作用于身体,李献计觉得口干舌燥、头疼欲裂,而且特别的不振作,所以,必须抽之。
李献计:人民公园,老红军练剑、街道大妈蹦迪的地方,这真让人意外。
我和王倩,也常常在那儿无所事事地呆上一整天,扫视路过的人群,男人、女人、健康的、残缺的、年轻的和老去的,我们一起想象这些人的生活,并试图扮演他们。
李献计:王倩和我一样有差时症,一天时间有时候对我们来说,就像几个月那么漫长。
所以,我们扮演的各种人生加起来该有上百年,可王倩总能令我像最初见到她时那样,注目着她。
于是我不止一次地感谢自己的病,能让我有机会以世纪为单位,和她在一起。
李献计:当我从公园后门翻墙而入时,石壁上的寒冷透过手掌传遍全身,使这些看上去又更像是真实的。
继续往公园深处走,周围开始出现一些我特别熟悉的东西,前边那表皮已经剥落得差不多的绿色长椅,身后大树下一小块干燥的不自然的草坪,井盖边上一片印着小孩脚印的水泥地,这些本该消失的东西,凶猛地标记着那些一去不回的好时光。
李献计:为了不那么难受,我开始假装自己真的在这儿碰见了王倩,我走上前跟她说:呦,没留神咱省了50万啊,明天上街一人来身新衣服,再把你旧手机给换了,你来台NDS,我来台PSP,之后买上一堆零食,坐飞机去西藏、九寨沟、杜拜、伦敦、夏威夷、复活节岛、纽约、巴黎、哥本哈根……旁白:李献计心里明镜儿似的知道,自己差时症又犯了。
因为他分明记得,几个小时前,第一次给卖药姑娘打电话是一个夏季的夜晚。
当时还下着雨,他砍价未遂,被姑娘二话没说挂了电话,紧接着他又拨了第二次,并约好在人民公园见面交易。
整个通话过程不超过五分钟,而事实上这两次通话之间却相隔了整整一年半。
这便是差时症的第二种临床表现,把一段极长的时间在感官上短暂化。
李献计:其实就是为了自己,能从分手后的世界顺利逃走。
旁白:在这个漫长的过程中,李献计开始变得圆滑,他不会再为50万而跟本·拉登死磕。
双手因为生锈而散发出奇怪难闻的气味,皮肤也没法在夏天感受到蚊子的起落,他也逐渐知道,爱情并不是生命的全部。
旁白:直到有一天,他打开一扇门。
那儿刚下完雨,日落前的橙色包裹着人们,大家看上去都比平时要高兴。
空气既凉爽又新鲜,就像迎面看见的王倩,即使最简单的对视,也能刺伤李献计坚硬神经的最深处。
那就是他第一次见到的王倩,一点儿也没变,可李献计再也没法向前迈出一步。
因为透过那些雨后留下的深渊的映照,他知道这么久以来,他们两人之中,时间只在自己身上汹涌地流逝了。
旁白:最后李献计说,见到王倩时,就像瞬间经历了整个人生,心里很平静。
片子的最后,李献计终于打开了那扇正确的门。
门后面是第一次见到的王倩。
我们都有过自己的王倩,在时间开始的地方。
那时候李献计们不知道什么叫做房奴,王倩们也不懂得什么叫做拜金。
他顶着额头刚冒出来的青春痘,她素净着一张脂粉不施的小脸,就这么简单地相遇了。
后来,很多的后来。
有一天,王倩离开了,也许是因为她不再一派天真;也许因为她不再理想主义;也许仅仅是因为她的差时症痊愈了——总之她不再相信那些她曾经相信而李献计至今仍旧相信的东西。
他们曾经徘徊流连的人民公园也被拆了。
然后又在群众的抗议下重建了。
可是新的人民公园还是那个人民公园吗?
就像站在海边跟李献计说话的王倩,真的还是那个王倩吗?
大家都被时间推搡着向前,包括王倩。
只有李献计拼命地想要往后退。
李献计不停地打穿游戏,不停地打开一扇扇通往过去的门。
其实这些年里,李献计明白了爱情并不是生命的全部,也明白他可是停在别的门后做一些其他事情。
他可以有很多很多别的选择,但他还是选择了寻找那扇门。
当他真正看到王倩的时候,他已经迈不开脚了——回忆里的王倩永远保持着最初的模样,而时间却在李献计一个人身上汹涌地流逝了。
片子结尾相遇的场景,描写得很细致。
雨后的黄昏,暖色的夕阳,清新的空气,野猫慵懒地休憩,每个人都看起来比平常要高兴一点——我终于明白李献计要寻找的不仅仅是王倩,而是那个一去不复返的单纯年代。
那个我们曾经用力挥霍而不自知,之后却用一生去怀念的年代。
我一直觉得,那个青葱的年纪浓缩了美好得最纯粹的部分。
那时候的天总是很高,云总是很白,我们爱得矜持并且纯粹。
回忆起来,心里就温柔了一块。
李献计感到了平静。
他说,他就像瞬间经历了整个人生。
我们究其一生,用尽所有复杂的方法和途径去追求的,其实不就是像最初那样,用最简单的方式爱一个最简单的人吗?
只是这最简单的爱,对现在复杂的社会来说,已经太过昂贵了。
所以李献计只能站在回忆里一直一直凝望——这真是个悲伤的故事。
肿芝,我被陈腐的观念荼毒了,所以我觉得这片子不好看。
男主角不帅,王倩的名字不好听。
王倩没在女观众面前产生魅力,仿佛美国总统的女儿比她要美。
他们相爱过吗?
一点也不像。
说了没用。
故事的逻辑非常的站不住脚,也谈不上细节的真实。
所以我信不了,也就感动不了。
让我有种强烈的感觉就是“他只是在幻想爱她,并幻想做了这一系列悲壮的事儿,最后感动了自己。
”一切止于失眠后的复睡。
既然只是幻想,还有什么感人的呢?
我也可以幻想。
一切只是概念和梗概。
反正我不会这么做片子。
这是我个人来说最偏激的一次个人意见,也许。
我承认我没在这个片子最火的时候看到它,多少有点儿老坦儿。
但让我庆幸的是,我还能够在这么一个带着伤感劲儿的夏天里,自己坐在即将离开的宿舍里,穿着短裤和背心,喝着白开水,倒来跳去地一遍一遍地看着这么一个轻易把人撞倒的片子。
影片不长,20多分钟,但我还是能够从这短暂的时间里,拦截到一些字眼,拼凑出一些七零八落的想法。
1、fucking game over一个以“玩儿游戏”为大背景的动画,势必要有意无意地向最经典的游戏致敬。
无论是影片开头的“Game Over”,还是李献计一拳顶出的那颗“致幻蘑菇”,不得不说,超级玛丽的屡次现形让几乎不怎么玩儿游戏的我也有了无尽的共鸣。
再来说说这款没人打得过通关的游戏——这款据说打过通关就能回到过去的游戏,李献计为了通关它不惜卖肾、邀请游戏达人小日本儿(我承认那段日式英语让我笑喷了)来跟他一块儿玩儿,不惜开膛破肚走私古董,不惜跟操着一口河南腔儿(《西征梦》不解释)的本拉登飙一个商业大片那么复杂的命……这么强大的意志,在那些每天去网吧刷夜包早的孩儿们面前都实属罕见。
当然,成人了的人少了去网吧揪耳朵喊你回家吃饭的家长盯梢,就方便了许多。
可……这怎么说也是一玩儿命啊!
2、差时症“我是一病人啊。
”虽然李献计一直在有意无意地抱怨(或者说是无奈地声讨)这一让我们普通人无法理解的怪病,但事实是,他从来没想要这个病好过。
如果说,这病是无药可救也就算了,但在他吞下蘑菇,迈过那道门时,王倩的差时症已经好了。
我想他的病,已经不仅仅停留在“差时症”这么简单的层面上了,他所希望的,是因为差时症,他可以和王倩是一类人,属于一个区别于旁人的时空。
在那里,他们在人民公园玩一天相当于好几个月,可以在和她在一起的日子里扮演许多角色,度过好几百年。
他同样也可以把无关紧要的漫长时间,缩短到自己无意识的一瞬间,仿佛打了一个盹儿(此时出现了《记忆碎片》的桥段),一睁眼,从夏天到冬天,从人民公园要拆到已经夷为平地,从夷为平地到原样重建,从没有50万到有了50万,从有了50万到没了50万,从过去到现在,从现在到未来,从未来到过去。
“我不止一次地感谢我的病。
”——李献计,你真病的不轻。
3、历险记李献计。
我不知道是不是我想多了还是作者本身就图这么一谐音,又或者咱们干脆别瞎猜飞行员同志是一什么心态,但我从始至终就觉得,生命本身就是一场历险(无论有无游戏通关、卖肾、差时症、跟本拉登死磕等)。
历险的意义在于,我们总是持有某种目的、为了达到这个目的不惜一切地豁出去,并且在豁出去之前就做好了“有本事拿枪把我毙了”的准备。
于是我们为了实现它,一步一步地不能退缩、不能调头地一路走到黑。
哪怕是“操,悲剧了”,还是得硬着头皮地佯装自己是李小龙附体,撂倒一个又一个真真假假的人。
4、王倩 “献计献策。
”她叫你的名字,我想这是她给你起的昵称吧。
可我知道,你是多么不想让这个昵称出现在她苦口婆心地劝诫你停止历险的时候。
《李莲英走了》里,基佬主持人轻松地说“只要跟她去讲就好了啦”(这段儿超级模仿秀我又笑了),而你以一句“比‘纯粹的爷们儿需要的是纯粹的姑娘’还要残酷”来“敷衍”了他。
俗气地说,这个故事里有武打、有科幻、有文艺、有恶搞等种种噱头,作为一个21世纪德智体美劳全面发展的“商业大片儿”,怎少得了姑娘(好吧,我又俗气了,是爱情╮(╯_╰)╭)。
王倩,作为在故事中从未真实出现的女一号,给我们留下了一个叫做“美好”的标签:夏天的夕阳里长发翻飞的侧脸,小孩子一样跳来跳去的身影,以及,犹如第一次见到她时一如既往地目视着的她。
“就这样吧,过去的王倩还在等着我呢。
”5、好时光“继续往公园深处走,周围开始出现一些我特别熟悉的东西。
前边儿那表皮剥落的已经差不多的绿色长椅,身后大树下一小块干燥的不自然的草坪,井盖边上一片印着小孩儿脚印的水泥地,这些本该消失的东西凶猛地标记着那些一去不回的好时光。
”不得不承认,这段用大白话的语气念叨的这段旁白,深深地打动了我这个伪文艺。
美好的时光在故事里,就是爱情的时光。
所以爱情只是虚晃一枪,给“美好”以载体,但说的还是“时光”。
李献计和王倩都有差时症,他们在人民公园玩一天相当于好几个月,这暗喻他们对美好时光的留恋。
但逝者如斯,留又是留不住的,于是他又找到一个新的方法,就是“回去”,时空穿梭,找回美好的时光。
于是设置了一个打游戏通关能出现时空门的情节,他可以像至尊宝一样大喊一句“般若波罗蜜”那样一遍一遍地回到过去。
但影片超过《大话西游》之处(当然大话西游旨不在此),也是本片悲剧之处就在于,他无法一下就穿越到自己希望回去的时刻,他只有不停地穿越,不知疲倦地打开一扇又一扇的门。
此时,最最悲剧的时刻来到了——当他终于穿越到第一次见到王倩的时刻,自己已经不再年轻。
这形成一个黑色幽默:李献计本意是挽留时光,而他自己却在挽留时光的过程中失去了时光。
当然,这并非一种讽刺,反而我觉得这是一种善意的警告,告诫我们在还年轻的时候不要执迷于一些注定留不下的人事并为之赴汤蹈火、路死马亡。
就像他在一次又一次地穿越过程中领悟到的:爱情并不是生命的全部。
又或者,这实则是一种鼓励,鼓励我们在还年轻的时候为了自己放手一搏,即使结果是残酷的(就像眼睁睁地注视着一面墙的倒塌),但直到那一刻,我们仍能拍着胸膛(或是平静地)说:这一路走来,我没白活过。
作为一个女性观众,我还是毫无招架能力地被李献计的一句话所打动:以世纪为单位,和她在一起。
我承认这句煽情得让人有点儿闹不住,但事实是,在时间面前,我们没有人能闹得住。
是的,即使你有差时症,即使你通了关,即使你自认为小聪明得了逞,即使你觉得自己不惜了一切代价,在时间面前,我们总是一边学习着,一边傻逼着。
100:00:12,300 --> 00:00:15,330等等,他有话说。
200:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,320王倩300:00:39,310 --> 00:00:41,060王倩400:01:08,050 --> 00:01:10,120操你大爷!
500:01:10,130 --> 00:01:13,110这个被游戏气得砸电视的是一小日本600:01:13,140 --> 00:01:15,000他来中国大概一个月了700:01:15,030 --> 00:01:17,000芳龄28,正是血气方刚800:01:17,060 --> 00:01:19,240我受够了!
900:01:19,370 --> 00:01:21,200看我手指都他妈流血了!
1000:01:21,270 --> 00:01:22,300都怪这破游戏!
1100:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,000我每天玩20个小时1200:01:24,060 --> 00:01:25,980每小时按键上万次1300:01:26,030 --> 00:01:27,000我从来没为一款游戏付出这么多!
1400:01:27,010 --> 00:01:29,090现在我算是知道了1500:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,000根本没人能玩穿这2b游戏!
1600:01:31,030 --> 00:01:33,000你跟你的破游戏都去死吧!
1700:01:33,041 --> 00:01:35,341去死吧!!
去死吧!!
去死吧!!
1800:01:36,260 --> 00:01:38,900这屋里的另外一个人叫李献计1900:01:38,950 --> 00:01:41,120他温文尔雅、知书达理2000:01:41,140 --> 00:01:43,900从来不会被冲动所控制2100:01:48,350 --> 00:01:51,010可那说的是他50岁以后2200:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,500李献计当年252300:01:53,550 --> 00:01:56,120在悠久的中日友好关系史上2400:01:56,150 --> 00:01:58,510点下了小黑点儿2500:02:20,010 --> 00:02:23,660算上今天的,你已经7次把我打昏了2600:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,000不到俩月,7次2700:02:26,010 --> 00:02:28,070平均一个月3.5次2800:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,210平均一个星期0.875次2900:02:31,530 --> 00:02:34,000平均每天0.125次3000:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,180平均每小时0.005...3100:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,000差不多行了,日本祥林嫂3200:02:37,005 --> 00:02:38,045打击日本侵略者3300:02:38,050 --> 00:02:40,890是我们每个公民应尽的义务3400:02:41,740 --> 00:02:43,300可是私下里就咱俩吧3500:02:43,310 --> 00:02:45,570我是真不想欺负你3600:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,130关键我控制不住自己3700:02:48,150 --> 00:02:50,050我是一病人啊3800:02:50,060 --> 00:02:51,320李献计没瞎说3900:02:51,570 --> 00:02:53,280他得的这病叫差时症4000:02:53,370 --> 00:02:56,050临床上表现为把一段很短的时间4100:02:56,060 --> 00:02:57,790在感觉上漫长化4200:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,740就好比刚才那小日本4300:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,090在被放倒之前4400:03:01,330 --> 00:03:03,130一共才抱怨了27秒4500:03:03,460 --> 00:03:05,100而在李献计眼里4600:03:05,405 --> 00:03:07,890每秒都被延伸到无比漫长4700:03:08,362 --> 00:03:09,844好像永无尽头4800:03:10,101 --> 00:03:12,114这种幻觉直接作用于身体4900:03:12,353 --> 00:03:14,198李献计觉得口干舌燥5000:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,365头疼欲裂5100:03:15,650 --> 00:03:17,333而且特别的不振作5200:03:17,662 --> 00:03:19,505所以必须抽之5300:03:21,226 --> 00:03:22,440得,跳闸了5400:03:22,444 --> 00:03:24,137别急,一会儿就来电5500:03:24,904 --> 00:03:26,729手机先给你,照着点儿5600:03:26,903 --> 00:03:27,904谢谢啊!
5700:03:28,009 --> 00:03:29,894别客气,你也怪不容易的5800:03:30,249 --> 00:03:31,902说...说得也是啊...5900:03:34,552 --> 00:03:37,489对了,这游戏你玩儿很长时间了吧?
6000:03:37,507 --> 00:03:39,171嗯,玩了有一段了6100:03:39,527 --> 00:03:40,529好厉害啊!
6200:03:41,373 --> 00:03:43,198可你的手指看上去完全没有受伤6300:03:43,785 --> 00:03:45,409因为我把它们都换成了铁质的6400:03:46,828 --> 00:03:47,608——你的手指?
——对!
6500:03:47,664 --> 00:03:48,355什么时候?
6600:03:48,385 --> 00:03:50,000卖肾的时候顺手就换了6700:03:50,008 --> 00:03:51,951卖肾?
可为什么啊!
6800:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,311为了能让您来中国6900:03:53,337 --> 00:03:54,559你是说...7000:03:54,896 --> 00:03:56,180我?
7100:04:04,027 --> 00:04:07,243《李莲英走了》今天请来的嘉宾叫李献计7200:04:07,250 --> 00:04:10,380他现在不计成本地想要打穿一款游戏7300:04:10,385 --> 00:04:12,759甚至不惜把肾卖掉,为了这款游戏7400:04:13,249 --> 00:04:16,066忍受了许多人没有办法忍受的痛苦7500:04:16,482 --> 00:04:18,155所以,献计你为什么这么肯定7600:04:18,434 --> 00:04:20,498这款游戏就一定能被你打穿呢?
7700:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,524也许它本身就是一个恶作剧7800:04:22,876 --> 00:04:24,148根本没有人能打穿7900:04:24,906 --> 00:04:26,432事实上你说这问题8000:04:26,591 --> 00:04:27,693我从来就没担心过8100:04:28,179 --> 00:04:30,303因为我看见有人把它打穿了8200:04:30,999 --> 00:04:33,273所以玩穿后会怎样呢?
8300:04:33,455 --> 00:04:34,777到时候会打开一扇门8400:04:35,065 --> 00:04:37,529走进去就能回到自己的过去8500:04:37,962 --> 00:04:40,037所以什么样的错都可以修正8600:04:40,737 --> 00:04:42,192嗯,是个蛮感人的故事8700:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,735好吧就算你能够时间旅行的话8800:04:44,889 --> 00:04:46,553那你想要回到什么时代呢?
8900:04:47,086 --> 00:04:48,711我只想回到和王倩分手之前9000:04:49,104 --> 00:04:50,978然后避免一些事情的发生9100:04:51,370 --> 00:04:52,443可献计你应该知道9200:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,242如果只是想和女友复合的话9300:04:54,475 --> 00:04:57,041不需要又卖肾又改造身体这么复杂的9400:04:57,633 --> 00:04:59,417你只要去跟她讲就好啦9500:05:00,569 --> 00:05:01,969你是一同性恋吧9600:05:03,099 --> 00:05:04,962事实上你内心是个姑娘9700:05:05,774 --> 00:05:08,048你特别希望能找一纯粹的爷们9800:05:08,794 --> 00:05:10,487结果有一天真让你碰上了9900:05:11,136 --> 00:05:12,429找了一辈子终于找着了10000:05:13,095 --> 00:05:15,409然后你就跑过去把心里全都说给他听10100:05:16,074 --> 00:05:17,406结果对面来一句10200:05:17,896 --> 00:05:19,310“可你该明白”10300:05:19,674 --> 00:05:22,129“纯粹的爷们需要的是纯粹的姑娘”10400:05:24,515 --> 00:05:25,928我举这例子的意思是10500:05:26,424 --> 00:05:27,627王倩跟我分手的原因10600:05:28,273 --> 00:05:29,245比这还残酷10700:05:31,000 --> 00:05:31,516那10800:05:31,977 --> 00:05:33,520究竟是怎样的原因呢?
10900:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,734好吧,我们的节目也就要结束了11000:05:39,290 --> 00:05:40,095关于这个游戏11100:05:40,100 --> 00:05:42,388我想就只好求助于日本的美元大雾了11200:05:44,206 --> 00:05:46,250作为世界上最强悍的电子竞技王者11300:05:46,728 --> 00:05:48,152他一定会对你有所帮助11400:05:48,798 --> 00:05:50,642事实上他提供的惟一帮助11500:05:50,664 --> 00:05:51,748就是给我一号码11600:05:52,103 --> 00:05:52,633号码?
11700:06:04,961 --> 00:06:08,038你好,欢迎您使用电话支付系统11800:06:08,073 --> 00:06:10,075购买k粉请按111900:06:10,076 --> 00:06:12,317冰毒请按212000:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,932海乐神请按312100:06:14,257 --> 00:06:15,891大麻请按412200:06:16,269 --> 00:06:17,972转人工请按012300:06:20,319 --> 00:06:22,042你好请问有什么需要么?
12400:06:22,128 --> 00:06:24,852我想买那种可以提高反应速度的兴奋剂12500:06:25,567 --> 00:06:28,343我们有A.B.C三种商品可供选择12600:06:28,909 --> 00:06:30,383A种商品副作用小12700:06:30,749 --> 00:06:31,811效果也最差12800:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,774C种商品效果最好12900:06:34,131 --> 00:06:35,472可副作用非常严重13000:06:36,010 --> 00:06:37,442我们推荐B类商品13100:06:37,891 --> 00:06:39,505效果虽然略逊商品C13200:06:39,922 --> 00:06:42,025可副作用却远远小于商品A13300:06:42,721 --> 00:06:44,515来一个C类商品吧13400:06:44,557 --> 00:06:47,062好的,商品报价目前为人民币50万13500:06:49,599 --> 00:06:51,102我操,能便宜点儿么13600:06:56,632 --> 00:06:57,155你好...13700:06:58,392 --> 00:06:59,063你好,请问...13800:06:59,469 --> 00:07:01,644商品C,50万现金支付13900:07:03,182 --> 00:07:05,526好的,请于晚间11:3014000:07:05,890 --> 00:07:08,114到人民公园完成购物程序14100:07:08,599 --> 00:07:10,744再次感谢您使用电话支付系统14200:07:11,249 --> 00:07:11,830晚上见14300:07:15,287 --> 00:07:15,898人民公园14400:07:16,697 --> 00:07:17,920老红军练剑14500:07:18,416 --> 00:07:20,140街道大妈蹦迪的地方14600:07:21,103 --> 00:07:22,315这真让人意外14700:07:23,777 --> 00:07:24,398我和王倩14800:07:24,863 --> 00:07:27,628也常在那无所事事地呆上一整天14900:07:28,975 --> 00:07:30,427扫视路过的人群15000:07:31,121 --> 00:07:31,920男人15100:07:32,176 --> 00:07:32,787女人15200:07:33,531 --> 00:07:34,152健康的15300:07:34,478 --> 00:07:35,080残缺的15400:07:35,738 --> 00:07:36,357年轻的15500:07:36,544 --> 00:07:37,365和老去的15600:07:38,799 --> 00:07:40,582我们一起想像这这些人的生活15700:07:40,897 --> 00:07:41,940并试图扮演他们15800:07:43,294 --> 00:07:44,767王倩和我一样有差时症15900:07:45,697 --> 00:07:47,329一天时间有时候对我们来说16000:07:47,654 --> 00:07:48,997就像几个月那么漫长16100:07:49,527 --> 00:07:50,229所以16200:07:50,568 --> 00:07:51,881我们扮演的各种人生16300:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,430加起来该有上百年16400:07:54,211 --> 00:07:55,242可王倩16500:07:55,598 --> 00:07:57,523总能令我像最初见到她时那样16600:07:58,366 --> 00:07:59,206注目着她16700:08:01,292 --> 00:08:03,545于是我不止一次地感谢自己的病16800:08:04,077 --> 00:08:05,179能让我有机会16900:08:05,636 --> 00:08:08,061以世纪为单位,和她在一起17000:08:11,552 --> 00:08:12,694我们分手后17100:08:13,071 --> 00:08:14,324人民公园在前不久17200:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,037就这么无声无息的17300:08:16,084 --> 00:08:18,250在城市规划中被夷为平地17400:08:19,181 --> 00:08:22,269所以买药姑娘和我在电话里约好的目的地17500:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,704是个已经根本不存在的地方17600:08:41,877 --> 00:08:42,989我首先想到的是17700:08:43,192 --> 00:08:45,036自己在出租车上睡着了17800:08:46,328 --> 00:08:47,179眼前就是梦境17900:08:50,967 --> 00:08:52,880当我从公园后门翻墙而入时18000:08:53,665 --> 00:08:56,349石壁上的寒冷透过手掌传遍全身18100:08:57,475 --> 00:08:59,478使这些看上去又更像是真实的18200:09:03,030 --> 00:09:04,162继续往公园深处走18300:09:04,807 --> 00:09:07,232周围开始出现一些我特别熟悉的东西18400:09:08,386 --> 00:09:11,191前边那表皮剥落得差不多的绿色长椅18500:09:13,358 --> 00:09:16,613身后大树下一小块干燥的不自然的草坪18600:09:18,491 --> 00:09:21,777井盖边上一片印着小孩脚印的水泥地18700:09:22,743 --> 00:09:24,105这些本该消失的东西18800:09:24,490 --> 00:09:27,495凶猛地标记着那些一去不回的好时光18900:09:37,935 --> 00:09:39,487我开始往前跑19000:09:42,434 --> 00:09:43,216再怎么好意思19100:09:43,391 --> 00:09:44,771我也不能让自己触景生情地跟这19200:09:45,225 --> 00:09:46,258潸然泪下吧19300:09:50,671 --> 00:09:51,485为了不那么难受19400:09:52,429 --> 00:09:55,225我开始假装自己真的在这儿碰见了王倩19500:09:56,753 --> 00:09:57,854我走上前跟她说19600:09:58,589 --> 00:10:00,593呦,没留神咱省了50万啊19700:10:00,992 --> 00:10:03,055明天上街一人来身新衣服19800:10:03,592 --> 00:10:05,386再把你旧手机给换了19900:10:06,491 --> 00:10:07,453你来台nds20000:10:07,829 --> 00:10:08,862我来台psp20100:10:09,519 --> 00:10:10,612之后买上一堆零食20200:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,115坐飞机去西藏20300:10:12,355 --> 00:10:14,180九寨沟、杜拜20400:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,182伦敦、夏威夷20500:10:16,747 --> 00:10:18,002复活节岛20600:10:18,022 --> 00:10:18,572纽约20700:10:19,011 --> 00:10:19,572巴黎20800:10:20,123 --> 00:10:20,864哥本哈根......20900:10:27,135 --> 00:10:29,030再后来,买药姑娘来电话21000:10:29,658 --> 00:10:31,462让我把钱都放到公园里21100:10:31,885 --> 00:10:33,547一台红色自动售货机里21200:10:36,483 --> 00:10:38,166这花了我很长时间21300:10:40,589 --> 00:10:41,624长到让我相信21400:10:41,671 --> 00:10:43,324人民公园的再次出现21500:10:44,276 --> 00:10:46,468事实上跟王倩毫无关系21600:11:01,625 --> 00:11:04,494你好,这里是电话支付系统21700:11:05,061 --> 00:11:06,183您的交易已完成21800:11:06,743 --> 00:11:07,965希望您购物愉快21900:11:08,638 --> 00:11:09,399后会有期22000:11:09,998 --> 00:11:11,280并祝您春节快乐22100:11:11,680 --> 00:11:12,331万事如意22200:11:21,552 --> 00:11:22,323差时症22300:11:22,895 --> 00:11:23,787我操你妈22400:11:24,592 --> 00:11:26,676李献计心里明镜儿似的知道22500:11:27,095 --> 00:11:28,438自己差时症又犯了22600:11:28,913 --> 00:11:30,185因为他分明记得22700:11:30,609 --> 00:11:31,530几个小时前22800:11:31,580 --> 00:11:33,353第一次给买药姑娘打电话22900:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,202是一个夏季的夜晚23000:11:36,017 --> 00:11:36,979当时还下着雨23100:11:37,396 --> 00:11:38,246他砍价未遂23200:11:38,483 --> 00:11:40,136被姑娘二话没说挂了电话23300:11:40,971 --> 00:11:42,545紧接着他又拨了第二次23400:11:43,423 --> 00:11:45,296并约好在人民公园见面交易23500:11:46,413 --> 00:11:48,306整个通话过程不超过5分钟23600:11:49,324 --> 00:11:50,968而事实上这两次通话之间23700:11:51,382 --> 00:11:52,875却相隔了整整一年半23800:11:53,718 --> 00:11:55,801这便是差时症的第二种临床表现23900:11:56,449 --> 00:11:57,531把一段极长的时间24000:11:57,723 --> 00:11:59,355在感官上短暂化24100:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,307在这18个月里发生了许多事儿24200:12:02,665 --> 00:12:03,979比如被拆毁的人民公园24300:12:04,350 --> 00:12:05,693在人民的强烈抗议下24400:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,202按原样重建了24500:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,124接下来,应广大观众的热烈要求24600:12:10,527 --> 00:12:11,780我们将着重介绍一下24700:12:12,016 --> 00:12:14,961李献计迅速弄到50万的成功经验24800:12:23,355 --> 00:12:24,708我必须得弄到50万24900:12:25,401 --> 00:12:26,205康熙玉玺25000:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,260值6000万25100:12:27,947 --> 00:12:28,989把它带到阿富汗25200:12:29,445 --> 00:12:30,555就给你50万25300:12:30,670 --> 00:12:31,320怎么个带法25400:12:31,612 --> 00:12:32,984我们知道你卖掉一个肾25500:12:33,310 --> 00:12:34,410玉玺可以放在那里25600:12:34,943 --> 00:12:36,285所以你要做的就是25700:12:36,475 --> 00:12:37,107换登机牌25800:12:37,396 --> 00:12:37,958过安检25900:12:38,170 --> 00:12:39,112然后上飞机26000:12:39,704 --> 00:12:40,466用你们的话说26100:12:40,555 --> 00:12:41,570就是万无一失26200:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,083你不能上飞机26300:12:43,446 --> 00:12:45,249管得着么,你哪位26400:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,132C.I.A26500:12:46,484 --> 00:12:48,587你被怀疑进行非法资金流动26600:12:48,799 --> 00:12:51,101我们知道你在肚子里藏了什么26700:12:51,495 --> 00:12:55,233但如果你同意把一颗小窃听器植入玉玺内26800:12:55,748 --> 00:12:56,809我们就不逮捕你26900:12:57,161 --> 00:12:58,224之后,当然27000:12:58,474 --> 00:13:00,169你得继续把玉玺运给我们的27100:13:00,169 --> 00:13:01,169“阿富汗朋友”27200:13:01,687 --> 00:13:03,261那帮阿富汗商人安全么27300:13:03,364 --> 00:13:05,058放心吧,都是良民27400:13:08,011 --> 00:13:09,412你正在为美国工作27500:13:10,863 --> 00:13:11,652对不对!
27600:13:11,769 --> 00:13:12,621操,悲剧了27700:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,545这些无知的老美27800:13:14,821 --> 00:13:17,056越来越让人生厌27900:13:17,615 --> 00:13:20,129当然,你今天将为此客死他乡28000:13:20,304 --> 00:13:22,789吓唬谁啊,有本事拿枪把我给毙了28100:13:24,489 --> 00:13:26,304在我离开后就杀了他28200:13:27,217 --> 00:13:28,079一般人要这样28300:13:28,535 --> 00:13:29,596肯定就给吓坏了28400:13:33,037 --> 00:13:34,119可是如果会功夫的话28500:13:36,740 --> 00:13:39,535我是来把你从阿富汗安全带走的28600:13:40,170 --> 00:13:41,753但在我们逃离这里之前28700:13:41,972 --> 00:13:43,765我必须先从那个阿富汗商人手中28800:13:43,974 --> 00:13:45,917救一个人质出来28900:13:46,221 --> 00:13:47,173这人质是谁啊29000:13:47,406 --> 00:13:48,108美国总统的女儿29100:13:48,638 --> 00:13:49,861那这阿富汗商人29200:13:50,042 --> 00:13:51,253肯定得是本拉登吧29300:13:53,420 --> 00:13:54,985他们将付出代价!
29400:13:57,643 --> 00:13:58,816来救我的特工牺牲了29500:13:59,157 --> 00:14:01,121所以我们已经跟美国失去了联系29600:14:01,974 --> 00:14:03,506要想逃出这里29700:14:05,653 --> 00:14:07,899我们就只能靠自己!
29800:14:10,986 --> 00:14:11,667那无所谓29900:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,598只要别耽误我找本拉登30000:14:17,610 --> 00:14:19,274他还拖欠我50万送货费呢30100:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,846你做的这一切就只是为了一女孩?
30200:14:37,296 --> 00:14:38,489其实就是为了自己30300:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,567能从分手后的世界顺利逃走30400:14:44,563 --> 00:14:45,926你的神不在这里30500:14:57,694 --> 00:14:58,746差时症30600:15:09,573 --> 00:15:10,546给我50万!
30700:15:10,985 --> 00:15:12,697你得买什么?
30800:15:42,181 --> 00:15:42,892献计献策30900:15:44,457 --> 00:15:45,228对不起31000:15:45,665 --> 00:15:46,665我在未来31100:15:46,749 --> 00:15:47,521把这款游戏打通了31200:15:48,644 --> 00:15:51,030所以,你把这个时代的王倩取代了31300:15:53,383 --> 00:15:56,228而且我是差时症痊愈以后的王倩31400:15:57,380 --> 00:15:58,100我跟你31500:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,407还有过去的王倩31600:16:00,290 --> 00:16:01,703已经完全不一样了31700:16:03,263 --> 00:16:03,864明白31800:16:04,266 --> 00:16:05,227不过还好31900:16:05,568 --> 00:16:07,020你把那游戏又给了我32000:16:07,977 --> 00:16:10,141这样我就能回去找原来的王倩32100:16:10,506 --> 00:16:12,660就算你回到我们最开始认识的时候32200:16:13,158 --> 00:16:14,541我们也不会在一块很久32300:16:15,521 --> 00:16:17,494因为我的差时症很快就没有了32400:16:18,536 --> 00:16:19,277我知道32500:16:19,491 --> 00:16:21,203到时候我就把这游戏再穿一次32600:16:22,343 --> 00:16:23,095献计献策32700:16:25,038 --> 00:16:26,501虽然我没法再喜欢你了32800:16:28,358 --> 00:16:29,229可你这么浪费自己32900:16:32,539 --> 00:16:33,721我心里很难过33000:16:40,013 --> 00:16:40,794都回去吧33100:16:41,326 --> 00:16:42,289我还得接着打游戏呢33200:16:42,716 --> 00:16:43,367你想过么33300:16:43,842 --> 00:16:45,114如果你一直留在现在33400:16:46,609 --> 00:16:48,161也许我们有一天还会在一起33500:16:48,382 --> 00:16:48,932那样33600:16:49,281 --> 00:16:50,919也只是因为你在可怜我吧33700:16:52,176 --> 00:16:53,178就这样吧33800:16:54,435 --> 00:16:55,146过去的王倩33900:16:55,742 --> 00:16:57,064还在等着我呢34000:17:17,494 --> 00:17:18,043最后34100:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,555像每个人期望的那样34200:17:20,542 --> 00:17:21,853李献计打穿了游戏34300:17:23,408 --> 00:17:25,161接着就真的出现了一扇门34400:17:26,370 --> 00:17:27,392他可以回到过去了34500:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,660可同时他也发现34600:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,561这样的门并不只有一扇34700:17:33,175 --> 00:17:33,975穿过这些门34800:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,778你所到达的可能是玩穿游戏的前一秒34900:17:38,064 --> 00:17:39,598也可能是刚出生的第一秒35000:17:40,609 --> 00:17:43,496李献计只想回到第一次见到王倩的时候35100:17:44,486 --> 00:17:45,027所以35200:17:45,032 --> 00:17:46,485在他找到正确的门之前35300:17:47,205 --> 00:17:48,150他就只能一遍又一遍地35400:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,150重复着之前做过的事情35500:17:51,688 --> 00:17:52,988进入一扇门后的世界35600:17:53,872 --> 00:17:54,822在那里打穿游戏35700:17:55,832 --> 00:17:57,096然后进入另外一扇门35800:17:58,171 --> 00:18:00,655并希望那里是自己想要回到的过去35900:18:02,757 --> 00:18:03,821在这个漫长的过程中36000:18:04,188 --> 00:18:05,401李献计开始变得圆滑36100:18:06,401 --> 00:18:08,885他不会再为50万而跟本拉登死磕36200:18:10,778 --> 00:18:13,973双手因为生锈而散发出奇怪难闻的气味36300:18:14,942 --> 00:18:18,020皮肤也没法在夏天感受到蚊子的起落36400:18:18,747 --> 00:18:19,789他也逐渐知道36500:18:19,969 --> 00:18:21,622爱情并不是生命的全部36600:18:22,582 --> 00:18:24,456也许他可以在某扇门后停下来36700:18:25,179 --> 00:18:26,150做一些其他事儿36800:18:26,682 --> 00:18:27,844遇见一些其他的人36900:18:30,979 --> 00:18:33,234他有时候会梦见一群人向自己走来37000:18:33,944 --> 00:18:34,877王倩也在里边儿37100:18:36,013 --> 00:18:38,000可李献计却无论如何也没法记起37200:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,900王倩的样子37300:18:39,985 --> 00:18:40,967就站在那儿37400:18:41,221 --> 00:18:41,941眼睁睁地37500:18:42,024 --> 00:18:43,672跟整个人群错身而过37600:18:45,063 --> 00:18:45,974他醒来37700:18:46,374 --> 00:18:48,240像个老人一样地坐在床边37800:18:48,288 --> 00:18:49,979沮丧了很久37900:18:51,116 --> 00:18:53,551李献计又开始寻找那扇正确的门38000:18:56,466 --> 00:18:57,388直到有一天38100:18:57,697 --> 00:18:58,739他打开一扇门38200:18:59,301 --> 00:19:00,264那儿刚下完雨38300:19:00,943 --> 00:19:03,197日落前的橙色包裹着人们38400:19:03,914 --> 00:19:06,249大家看上去都比平时要高兴38500:19:07,289 --> 00:19:08,984空气既凉爽又新鲜38600:19:09,713 --> 00:19:11,507就像迎面看见的王倩38700:19:12,435 --> 00:19:13,747即使最简单的对视38800:19:14,194 --> 00:19:17,028也能刺伤李献计坚硬神经的最深处38900:19:18,413 --> 00:19:20,417那就是他第一次见到的王倩39000:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,025一点儿也没变39100:19:23,126 --> 00:19:23,727可李献计39200:19:24,198 --> 00:19:26,201却再也没法向前迈出一步39300:19:27,158 --> 00:19:29,873因为透过那些雨后留下的深渊的映照39400:19:30,941 --> 00:19:32,234他知道,这么久以来39500:19:32,737 --> 00:19:33,738他们两人之中39600:19:34,445 --> 00:19:35,176时间39700:19:35,313 --> 00:19:36,343只在自己身上39800:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,962汹涌地流逝了39900:19:42,558 --> 00:19:43,791最后李献计说40000:19:44,391 --> 00:19:45,492见到王倩时40100:19:46,235 --> 00:19:48,440就像瞬间经历了整个人生40200:19:49,444 --> 00:19:50,666心里很平静[From VeryCD]
动画开头的时候琢磨着,李掰掰和我的欣赏差距咋这么大了,直到57秒我进入状态,不能停摆的一路贯穿下去,最后庆幸着没有在头几秒就草草关闭窗口。
这说明我对大色块来袭的动画的确有着不可抵挡的反感,同时也证明作为一个成年人,我正在逐渐摆脱第一印象做主的坏习惯。
故事看到近半,对康永的那段词儿说的其实很诚恳了,但终究还是没交代俩人分开的原因;也许原因不过就是个让人舒坦的借口,而借口这东西是不需要反反复复的说明的:信者自然信,而不信者,为了逃避背后的真正缘由也情愿选择比真相好听一百倍的借口。
接近终了的时候我狠狠的啐唾沫:李献计不停荒废时间游戏就是为了寻找一个自己的记忆里都开始模糊的女人,或然一份自己心里丢失了许久的情感?
我想,血气方刚的小青年看了大约会有那种我体会不到但是总被提及的“操蛋”的感觉。
这次反应慢,看完后怔怔的想了20多分钟,眼眶才泛潮,然后就有热泪汩汩的淌下来。
是不是每个人都做过李献计类似的事呢。
比如我,虽然不像李献计这么疯狂,但执着的追寻最终收获的居然是千疮百孔和黯然落寞,戏剧人生都是一样的。
还有在记忆深处愈行愈远,我拼命抓着头发也回想不清楚的曾经让我流泪的形象和轮廓。
好像我也患上了变态的差时症,不然我为什么看不清楚那张脸,那个在现实中也远离我甚至不屑于应酬我的影子?
时间塑造了物是人非,总有一天我们会遗忘彼此的样子,唯一不会被否定的只有曾经汹涌存在过的情感。
就是那首歌里唱的:离开你是傻是对是错是看破是软弱这结果是爱是恨或者是什么如果是种解脱怎么会还有眷恋在我心窝那么爱你为什么PS:生锈的铁手让我想到District9
为什么主题上我就是觉得特狭隘特俗特唧歪
差时症 好玩哈
哎喲
讨厌的北京腔 恶心装b的爱情
吹牛逼呢,什么乱七八糟的
这部国产动画短片在10年前也是火遍全网,大家都被导演李阳震惊到了,因为不仅风格实在太过独特而且凌厉,故事则富有想象力前所未见,内含的主题又是那样感人,最后的结尾配上枪花那首经典的《Don't cry》,双脸发麻。下面照抄木鱼水心的点评:是一部极其奇特的动画,意识流、魔幻现实主义甚至波普艺术都融入其中,跳脱的镜头与剧情,黑色幽默又带有调侃,具有王硕风味的对白,似乎蜻蜓点水,却总能触动人心。差时症显然是爱情的象征,如果你的差时症很快就好了,但我的却有一生之久,那只有不停寻找,直到再也走不动,记忆都模糊,还好在生命结束时,虽然想不起你的样子,却能想起初遇时雨后傍晚时候的温暖。
还行
4星鼓励分
感觉淡如水,青春死在了那一眼瞬间,唯一值得称道的是那一扇扇的门
除了那段恶搞康熙 我不知道好在哪里
诶妈,我咋才看呢,故事讲的有意思
旁白很难听
不知道为啥高分
无感
好像不冒犯一下同性恋不能显示出超雄男的ego。
跳跃出了我的喜好
喜欢这种风格的动画,不喜欢配音和故事主线。
豆瓣竟然有這片。好故事爛表現。
这绝对是我看过的最牛逼的动画片儿之一。
很好的形式下面填充了太多杂乱的东西,没什么目的性,也没形成集中的情感冲击。处处透着的那种躁动不管是对讲一个动人的爱情故事还是对构建一个深刻的科幻设定都无所助益,所以也很难把这两方面的潜力发挥到极致。