打开心世界

“The New World Is Yet To Come ”这大概是最能表达我对本片感受的一句话吧。

《打开心世界》看完了，思绪万千五味陈杂。

影片以盖布瑞拉第一视角和大量旁白，讲述一位19世纪初美国偏远地区穷苦农妇的生活，和内心渴望被爱、被改变的期待。

盖布瑞拉善于文字表达，早早嫁作人妻，每天按部就班做着“妻子应该做的事情”。

塔莉和丈夫搬到盖布瑞拉附近，是位不愿承担丈夫所说“妻子应做之事”的美丽农妇。

塔莉问她为什么嫁给丈夫的时候，盖布瑞拉回答：他人虽不长情，但人很深情。

这就埋下了她丈夫可以陪着妻子坐3天3夜马车去见她妻子担心的女人之伏笔。

虽然夫妻两人每天没什么话可讲，可她丈夫还是不会离开盖布瑞拉。

塔莉的丈夫则是一位小肚鸡肠疑心重的男人，这也预示着这是一出悲剧。

塔莉丈夫用日记无比详尽地记录自己妻子出去时长和谁见面，还会告诉塔莉“隔壁村庄有人用毒药毒死妻子”的信息我就猜到塔莉估计会BE。

当看到塔莉和丈夫不辞而别搬走，盖布瑞拉给塔莉写信最终被塔莉小心眼丈夫发现还大声朗读那份爱的倾诉信后，我气得骂了句脏话！

塔莉和盖布瑞拉的感情被塔莉丈夫发现，塔莉被丈夫毒死....盖布瑞拉找上门发现塔莉死的哭泣，还有最后盖布瑞拉像失了魂的每日流泪都让我难过不已。

我也在这些台词中得到了之前不理解盖布瑞拉和塔莉彼此产生爱意的原因。

塔莉的旁白解答了一切：和一个在一起可以让自己快乐、舒服、产生共鸣的人在一起才是爱。

我太喜欢她们对于羞涩内敛喜爱的用词描述。

虽然没有《烧女图》和《菊石》的爱那么热烈，但都非常真实把“本过着平凡普通生活，突然有个人闯入自己世界”的惊喜、爱恋、仰慕、共情描写出来。

其实，有些对话太过于晦涩难懂，当时男权主义背景下农妇们的爱只能躲躲藏藏。

不过，我挺喜欢塔莉低沉声音和橘色金发的。

可惜，塔莉已死，盖布瑞拉会永远活在悲伤之中。

The New World Is Yet To Come.

序号为双女主对戏的场次。

一、初见A：沉默。

（注意到T的秀发）T：谈自己头发的故事。

（展示美丽）A：很高兴你来。

T：沉默。

（我也很高兴）T：抱怨丈夫（我情感不满足）。

都没孩子。

（寻找共情点）二、拔鸡毛T：戴尔是怎么爱上你的？

（你很有魅力。

并不断用在那个年代看来很直白的词汇：smitten, compel来撩骚A）T：如何看待追求者？

（询问A的夫妻关系）T：你们都应该感激。

（我嫉妒他）三、拜访A：芬尼挺好的。

（询问关系）T：他想招人喜欢就可以。

（抱怨丈夫）A：芬尼写过情书吗？

（询问关系）T：只有塔莉知道了。

（拒绝肯定他们的关系）四、送礼A：芬尼怎么样？

（询问关系）T：就是芬尼。

（不具体回答）T：芬尼一直在说如何（用暴力）处置入侵者（抱怨丈夫），所以我来找一些不卑鄙的事（对比，我觉得你更好，我更喜欢你）。

A：戴尔说芬尼有很多优点。

（间接引语说你丈夫也没那么坏，挽回一下尴尬的场面）T：他有笔记本记我出行的情况。

（抱怨丈夫）T：他对我不满意，因为我没为他生孩子。

（可能有表明没有频繁的性生活的意思，鉴于当时的避孕技术，性和生育约等于直接挂钩。

我开始没想到，参考了网友的想法。

不同意请理性探讨。

）T：戴尔想要另一个孩子吧。

（打探性生活）A：沉默。

（我不想要，所以没有频繁的性生活）五-八闺蜜般的相处。

九、挽着走T：芬尼说幸福路上有阻碍。

（同性恋情）A：有阻碍才是幸福的那个。

（虽然我们有困难，但这也是一种幸福。

）T：也许当年他们有我们没有的希望。

（我们要有在一起的希望。

）十、表白T：病态而痛苦的心，平静下来吧。

（我苦恋着一个女人，这是病态的，放下吧。

）A：我太平凡。

T：那就要做些了不起的事，我们都还没经历过那些惊心动魄的时刻（轰轰烈烈的爱情）。

A：可以有（不同寻常的爱情）。

T：你怎么定义我们？

A: 我喜欢我们在一起的感觉，对我们而言除此之外别无所求。

我想太多了。

T：依我的经验并不是表达越少感受越少。

（你说得对。

这句话直接给了A主动亲T的勇气。

）A：你为什么不做想做的事。

（吻我）十一、亲热T：说了一堆出轨的好处。

（出轨的借口）A：（我们在一起）所有的负担都减轻了。

A平时应该是理智那一方，突然跟着T上头，所以T才那么激动。

问题是也得看看当时A在干什么的时候说的那句话，整场的台词就当音效听听得了。

BTW，戴尔应该永远见不到A这一面，心疼戴尔一秒钟。

十二、树林里A：笼中鸟（躲在柜子里）

这部片9分都不为过吧，编剧，导演（才35碎）），演员，台词，节奏，对那么晦涩文艺的原著短篇小说的改编，，，还有等等都不止8.1分吧，比卡罗尔落地，比菊石文艺，比烧女紧凑，觉得应该是姬片中的扛把子了，怎么会只有8.1分呢？

还有哪个姬片里的两女主能如此般配到无与伦比天造地合，沃特斯特那么深情敏感，科比的层次感和性张力。

还有哪个姬片里有同夫表达的那么真切的？

一个包容传统一个暴虐自私，没有吧。。。

剧情惨到极致的清教徒世界的女子怎么能盼到新世界的来临呢？

苦逼到爆的片子，惨到不能刷两遍的片子，怎么能不炸裂整个姬圈？

那么用的太多了，因为实在对8.1分看不下去了。

致敬影片的所有工作者。

为什么姬片都得这么冷嗖嗖的？

除《菊石》外，又一部烧女图代餐.

烧女图

打开心世界这么一看，烧女图确实牛，看过以后，残影还留在脑子里，从此以后每一部姬片都有了烧女图的影子.自然光与烛火打光，油画般的画面，人物内心汹涌的情感，克制的配乐，文学化的感情处理，啊这就是烧女图套餐定制啊！

而我就想问！

为什么！

为什么每部姬片都这么冷嗖嗖！！

越看越冷！

一边看一边裹紧了我的小被子！

《烧女图》里，法国孤岛的风，吹得女主角们嘴唇都白了！

穿堂吹过空旷的城堡，石墙木门都感觉冰冰凉！

《菊石》里，英格兰海岸冰冷潮湿的礁石，阴沉沉地拖拽着女主角的厚裙子！

我甚至都感觉她的鞋袜里全是盐水和冰渣！

看她徒手去扣被冰水冲刷过的菊石，我瑟瑟发抖脑门都觉得凉！

《打开心世界》里，开篇女主角就说自己早上洗土豆，洗完表面都覆盖着冰！

我要窒息了！！

啥呀这也太冷了！

然后暴风雪哗哗刮，肆虐得我耳根疼，好不容易到了五月，他们还要讨论被冻死掉的可怜狗狗！！！

窒息了！

为什么你们的恋爱都这么冷嗖嗖！！

为什么姬片不拍个夏天在意大利小镇充满桃子香气的爱情故事啊！！

这些姬片一开始就色调低沉，阴冷潮湿，仿佛一开始就昭示着故事的悲剧基调…然而从女性主义视角看，旧时代女性爱情故事本来注定就只能个悲剧.累了，太冷了，想看暖洋洋的爱情故事

看死君：继罗南和凯特主演的那部《菊石》后，我们终于又等到一部姬片。

“花园”第32期，要为大家推荐的便是这部由凡妮莎·柯比和凯瑟琳·沃特斯顿主演的《打开心世界》。

在去年威尼斯国际电影节上，本片突出重围荣获断背狮奖，还有人称其为“女版《断背山》”。

栏目| 花园作者|花无宴说起英国女演员凡妮莎·柯比，很多国内观众都是通过《王冠》《碟中谍6》以及《速度与激情：特别行动》认识的。

而她演技上真正的炸裂时刻，则是去年在威尼斯电影节上夺得影后的那部《女人的碎片》，后来还提名了奥斯卡影后。

凡妮莎·柯比凭借《女人的碎片》提名奥斯卡最佳女主角无独有偶，在同届威尼斯电影节上，凡妮莎·柯比还有另一部电影入围，那便是挪威导演莫娜·法斯特欧德的新作《打开心世界》。

这部成功摘得断背狮大奖的女同题材影片，让我们得以看到凡妮莎的另一面风情。

相比凡妮莎在《女人的碎片》中所展现的女性妊娠的高光时刻，以及逼近真实的窒息感与疼痛感；她在《打开心世界》中所塑造的19世纪古典少妇，同样以撩拨之态和直率性情而为影迷观众们所称道。

但《打开心世界》并不是一部让凡妮莎·柯比和凯瑟琳·沃德斯顿两位实力派女星袒胸露乳的蕾丝艳片，而是深挖美国尚处于开疆拓土时期的缝隙角落，以及两对农家夫妻的悲苦人生。

影片改编自吉姆·谢泼德的同名短篇小说，谢泼德本人也全程参与了编剧工作。

而另一位编剧朗·汉森，则是曾由布拉德·皮特主演的西部犯罪片《神枪手之死》的原著作者。

2007《神枪手之死》 作为《打开心世界》的主演之一，卡西·阿弗莱克当年正是通过《神枪手之死》和朗·汉森结识的。

当阿弗莱克向汉森询问最近有无好故事值得拍摄时，汉森便向他推荐了《打开心世界》这部小说。

这也是为什么阿弗莱克既是本片的主演，同样也担任着制片人。

为求与原著小说的风格保持一致，导演莫娜·法斯特欧德全程采用日记体叙事方式，以女主角阿比盖尔的第一人称视角，讲述了她与凡妮莎饰演的另一位妇人塔莉之间的动人故事。

1856年1月1日，跟丈夫戴尔一同生活在美国东北部偏远农场的阿比盖尔，像往常一样记录着自己孤独、无聊且阴郁的一天。

对于阿比盖尔而言，她与丈夫戴尔的生活枯燥且了无生趣。

戴尔是个为农场经营殚精竭虑的憨厚农夫，除了偶尔摆弄自己的那些机械器件，他将所有的闲暇时间都用来记账。

可阿比盖尔却是个心怀文艺幻想的敏感女人，除了对文学诗歌颇感兴趣之外，她还每天都用抒情而细腻的文字，映照着心里的每一层波澜。

原本，在幼女内莉诞生后，夫妻二人的关系暂时得以黏合，而内莉却突患白喉之症，仅不到五岁便猝然夭折。

阿比盖尔和戴尔的婚姻危机便日益加剧。

直到某一天，塔莉在教堂前出现，引起了阿比盖尔的注意，后者的人生才开始焕发新机。

面对内敛保守的阿比盖尔，塔莉显得外向活泼得多，主动在阿比盖尔门前跟她寒暄许久。

自此，两人开始了一段交心之旅。

对各自丈夫的抱怨，兴趣爱好的表露，以及彼此之间所激荡的情感，让两颗疲惫麻木的心在冬日寒风中有了难得的温暖。

在两人更进一步的深入交往中，她们开始渐生出某种异样的情愫。

最开始，阿比盖尔只是用略显暧昧的词句在日记中写下自己的心理变化；而塔莉则要直率坦诚得多，她甚至主动向阿比盖尔示爱，还给了她一个浅浅的吻。

由此，两个在家中都得不到丈夫疼爱的女人，相互温存，成为日常“偷情”的一对。

然而，塔莉的丈夫芬尼却是一个敏感且手段强硬的狠角色。

在他日渐察觉到塔莉对自己变得冷漠之后，不但对塔莉实施家暴，更是连夜驱车赶路，将塔莉带到了另一座孤独的农场。

影片最后，阿比盖尔终于勇敢地踏上寻找塔莉的旅程，却发现塔莉已在床上死去多时。

生活还得继续，而阿比盖尔却只能在塔莉还活着的幻想中，度过今后的岁月。

很多人都将本片与李安导演的《断背山》相提并论，认为两者都讲述了一对同性恋者背着各自的另一半偷情的故事。

李安《断背山》但在人物关系的设定上，两者其实还是存在着一定差别。

《断背山》中的一对牛仔，其实早在结婚之前就已经相爱，只不过彼此都以为未来不会再见面，所以才选择结婚；而《打开心世界》则有着《廊桥遗梦》似的“偷情”设计，两位女主角在婚姻关系的掩盖下偷食禁果。

所以，在阿比盖尔和塔莉的这段恋爱中，我们很明显能看出她们之间的情感区别。

阿比盖尔更为保守胆怯，她虽然早就对塔莉存有爱慕之情，却隐忍不发。

直到塔莉向她当面表白、热吻相迎后，她才以急切的回吻表达了自己更为炽热的情感。

阿比盖尔几乎不曾主动去过塔莉家中，每次两人相处时，她都警惕被别人瞧见；甚至在塔莉冒着大暴雪冻伤之时，她也不敢轻易前去看望。

说到底，阿比盖尔的确贪恋这段甜蜜之情，但是她想要的是安全范围内的偷情，而不是逾越常规的私奔。

可塔莉不同，她始终渴盼着阿比盖尔的回应和主动。

她其实始终想要打破两人的现状，寻求着厮守终生的冒险的可能。

然而，这一试探性的提议，却被阿比盖尔的惶恐所打断。

正如影片《菊石》所展现的那样，在十九世纪中期那样的时代背景之下，两个女人想要享受同性之爱，几无可能。

阿比盖尔和塔莉基于爱情的不同态度，其实和各自丈夫的性格也都有着莫大的关系。

阿比盖尔之所以会倾向偷情，正在于丈夫戴尔的“默许”。

虽然影片中并没有道明戴尔在妻子和塔莉偷情期间，是否知晓真相；可每当塔莉到家中来访，他便知趣离开，让两人私处。

仅就这一点来看，戴尔对于妻子已然非常宽容。

这主要是因为，阿比盖尔对于戴尔来说，并不只是妻子，更是安全的港湾和依靠。

我们从暴风雪这一桥段中，便能够看出端倪。

影片利用暴雪狂舞的极寒天气道明两点：1.戴尔作为男人的胆怯。

他在暴雪中修补羊圈之后，不敢冒险归家。

2. 阿比盖尔的坚韧和果敢。

她在腰间绑好麻绳，冒着危险赶到羊圈救回丈夫。

这在后来阿比盖尔照顾生病的丈夫，戴尔讲述自己儿时经历地震后的心理阴影，以及明确表示没有阿比盖尔自己活不下去等情节中，均能看出戴尔对妻子的依赖。

但塔莉的丈夫芬尼却有所不同，他是一位道貌岸然的暴戾基督徒。

表面上，他用《圣经》中有关夫妻关系及妻子义务的经文约束着塔莉；而实际上，他是个寡情薄意、以残忍手段虐杀动物，并且对妻子怀有报复之心的伪君子，毫不顾忌《圣经》中向善、宽恕的基本教义。

尽管，影片最终并没有直接表露出芬尼谋杀了塔莉的真相，但从诸多细节中，我们都能看出这位家暴者的杀妻动机。

影片中有很多细节都铺垫了这个阴影。

比如芬妮曾跟塔莉讲述郡中的杀妻案件，塔莉脖子上明显的勒痕，塔莉家中的沾血毛巾，以及塔莉在与芬尼的舞蹈中，逐渐垂臂，悄然死去。

其实，无论是戴尔的宽忍，还是芬尼的暴戾，最终指向的都是那个夫权至上的社会中男性话语体系带来的禁锢与恐怖。

这种肃杀的氛围，在影片的两处闲笔中最为让人印象深刻。

其中一处是上文提到的暴雪桥段，除了阿比盖尔和戴尔之间的营救行动，还有一段是塔莉打算在木屋避雪的场面。

此时在幽暗的木屋一隅，传来“靠近点姑娘，这里比较暖和”的声音。

当塔莉点燃火柴一看，便发现三个虎视眈眈的中年男性。

恶劣的天气，叠加男性潜在的性威胁，成为那个时代激发女性身心恐惧的标志性象征。

而另一处更为隐秘的批判性场景，是阿比盖尔归家途中，看到某户人家房屋着火，幼女在阁楼被熊熊大火困住，活活烧死。

此处，影片不但借小女孩的意外死去，再度激起阿比盖尔曾因白喉离世的女儿的心中隐痛，更预示着阿比盖尔接下来更为惨烈的痛苦：彻底失去挚爱塔莉。

这些颇具原始野蛮气息的骇人场景，在导演法斯特欧德的出色运镜下，涌现出莫名的惊悚意味与失落之感。

这不禁让人思考，在那样一个不把女性作为完整个体的残酷的时代，阿比盖尔和塔莉的同性之恋，究竟有多少是真正基于爱情，又有多少是基于无奈。

就像阿比盖尔在她如散文般的抒情语句中所说的那样，无数的女孩嫁为人妇，她们尚且不懂人生的乐趣，却得在婚姻的义务中逐渐枯萎。

当阿比盖尔将无望的眼神投向贸然闯入她生命中的塔莉，同样，当塔莉怀着希冀从阿比盖尔的细腻心灵中获得源泉、滋润生命时，她们曾感受到一种前所未有的放松和生机。

影片中，每当展现两位女主角与各自的丈夫相处时，画面上基本都是灰暗无光的室内场景。

身为女人的她们，或是得在床上为男人们孕育孩子，或是得操持繁重的家务。

镜头语言也常为门框式构图，以寓意二人的“被囚”状态。

而当阿比盖尔和塔莉单独相处时，则多为光源充足的空间，或是郊外草地，或是壁炉一侧，而两者之间的状态也大多为闲散聊天，自然又不失灵动。

由此，这对同性璧人的爱情，在塔莉苍白陨落之时，才显得尤为痛彻心扉。

他们之间的爱恋其实早已不仅仅是情侣关系，而更像是心灵伴侣、知己挚友，无论少了哪一个，都无异于得忍受抽筋扒皮、腌渍暴晒的痛苦。

影片《打开心世界》借用欧美近代历史的夹缝所虚拟的同性相爱故事，对男性话语体系进行消解和批驳，对女性话语权进行重构和补漏的类型已然，已然成为欧美文艺片的一股潮流。

瑟琳·席安玛的《燃烧女子的肖像》、弗朗西斯·李的《菊石》，既着力于表现女同之间微妙的互动关系，同时也指涉着女性在历史大潮中的孤寂、无奈与苦痛。

2020《菊石》男女之间的爱情，对女性来说其实是种话语权至上的剥削；只有女性之间的情感才能起到慰藉和疗愈的作用。

爱情，不只是荷尔蒙激发的择偶触媒，更是性别批判的有力手段。

作为一部女性导演的电影作品，影片《打开心世界》在声效和摄影上同样不落俗套。

配乐方面，请来了丹尼尔·布隆伯格这位1990年出生的年轻艺术家，全程用管乐器演奏出柔和轻缓的音乐，让主角的情绪悄然蔓延。

而暴风雪那场戏，则用无调性音乐配以嘶叫声，营造出惊悚未知的不安氛围，让人时刻为两位女主角揪心。

摄影层面，则采用16mm的胶片拍摄，使影片拥有一种古典的韵味。

相比在画面上有着同样考量的《第一头牛》，法斯特欧德明显将色彩的饱和度、对比度调得更低，极富苍凉意味。

这些都让《打开心世界》成为一部非常耐看的影片，它让我们不得不为那个年代的女性禁忌之恋而感伤，更为之而动容。

栏目| 花园；作者|花无宴公号| 看电影看到死编辑| 骑屋顶少年；转载请注明出处

自用，全剧台词搬运。

来源：https://subslikescript.com/movie/The_World_to_Come-9738716 Tuesday,January 1st, 1856.Fair and very cold.This morning,ice in our bedroomfor the first time all winter.The water frozeon the potatoesas soon as they were washed.With little pride,and less hope,we begin the new year.On the porchafter sunup,I could hear the low chirpingof sparrowsin the hedgerows that arenow buried in the snow.Dyer has maintainedthat with good health,and a level head,there is alwaysan excellent chancefor a farmer willing to work.He feels he can never fullyrid himself of his burdens.And I'm certain that becausehis mind is in such a bad state,it affects his whole system.He told methis morningthat contentment was likea friend he never gets to see.You're late with the milking.She wasn't suffering.And you?Since our acquisitionof this farm,my husband had kept a ledgerto help him see the year whole.This way he knows what each cropand field paysfrom year to year.And Dyer has asked meto keep a diary of mattersthat might otherwisego overlooked...From tools lent outto bills outstanding.That I have done.But there would be no recordin these dull and simple pagesof the most passionatecircumstancesof our seasons past.No record of our emotionsor fears.Our greatest joys.Our most piercing sorrows.With our child,it was as if I'd foundmy bearings.But I too rarely told herthat she was our treasure.Would you like to try?Like this, papa?That's it.She often seemedseparate from us,as if she was working atjust fitting in where she could.They saw his brothersand sistersand they werethe mouse's family...There is somethingso affectingabout mute and motionless griefand illnessin a child so young.She put her arms around meand said nothing else.But it felt likewe were speaking.I have becomemy grief.I have become my grief."Welcome sweetday of rest",says the hymn.And Sunday is most welcomefor its few hours of quiet ease.As for me.I no longer attend.After the calamityof Nellie's loss,what calm I enjoydoes not derive from the notionof a better world to come.I want to purchase an atlas.- It could be a bother.- No, no. No bother.Who is that?His name is Finney.- His wife Tallie.- Hyah!I met themat the feed store.They seem to keep to themselves.They're renting the Zebrun farm.Monday, February 4th.Why is ink like fire?Because it is a good servant,and a hard master.Did you say something?I want to purchase an atlas.I suppose there are morefrivolous purchasesone could make.I've saved 90 cents of my own.I can't imagine a better wayto spend it.Could buy your husband a gift.What better giftcould I give himthan a wifewho is no longer a dullard?My self-educationseems the only wayto keep my unhappinessfrom overwhelming me.Good afternoon.I've been using a broomon my porch.The snow is so dry.I'm Tallie.Abigail.I hope I'm not intruding.No.I just, I needed to get awayfor the day.The farm is a slaughterhouseright now.My husband is killing his hogs.Would you like to come in?Yes, I'd love that.Or we could just stayout on the porch, shivering.I know it's the dullestof all thingsto have an ignorant neighborcome byand spoil a Sunday afternoon.Oh, no,you're the most welcome here.But I know the feeling.Sometimes, I imagine duringthe Widow Weldon's visitsthat I've been plunged up tomy eyes in a vat of the prosaic.Oh, Widow Weldon!She got going on the countylevy once...She sawI had noticed her hair,and admitted she had been vainabout it as a girl.She said that back then,she'd worn it longerand plaited in a bunat the back of her head.In the winter sunthrough the window,her skin had an underflushof rose and violetwhich so disconcerted methat I had to look away.As always,when it came to speakingand attempting to engageanother's affections,circumstances doomed meto striving and anxiety.From my earliest youth,I was like a pot-bound root,all curled in upon itself.I hope I'm not keeping youfrom something.No.I'm glad you've come.Finney saw your husbandat the cooperage.He mentioned his new methodfor farrowing his piglets.With some asperity?My husband mentions everythingwith some asperity.I told him that once,and...he observed in response thatit seemed to be quite a favorto get a kind word from me.And I told him that if hewas married to himself,he'd soon find outwhat a favor it was.My mother always saidthat having childrenwould resolve that dilemma.My mother made the same claim.And yet...Here we are...Both childless.My daughter, Nellie,would have been five today.Oh.How did she pass?Diphtheria.Last September.I'm so sorry.- Hello.- Oh.Good afternoon.I'm Dyer.Tallie.Oh, it's late, isn't it?I should be getting on.Don't go on my account.Oh, no.That's a nice wrap you have.Thank you.I never receive complimentsfor my clothes.I'm so glad you've come.Meeting you has made my day.It has?Well...How pleasant and uncommonit is to make someone's day.Thursday, February 14th.Dyer's third nightwith the fever.Drink this.I plan on getting sickmore often.My wife smiles at me.Promise me you're not gonna die.That would be the oppositeof my intention.I've restoredhim somewhatwith an enema of molasses,warm water and lard.Also a drop of turpentinenext to his nose.I spent the day reconsideringmy conversation with Tallie.We compared childhood beds...Mine in which the strawwas always breaking upand thinning out.And hers, which was as hard,she claimed,as the Pharaoh's heart.I should betaking care of you.I agree.Her manner is sweetand calm and gracious.And yet her spiritsseem to quickenat the prospect offurther conversation with me.I find that everythingI wish to tell herloses its eloquencein her presence.So how did you cometo meet Dyer?He was the oldest sonof a neighbor.He helped outon my father's farm.And was he instantly smittenby you?He was, wasn't he?He was instantly smitten by you.He admired what he viewedas my practical good sense.You don't countenance wordslike "smitten", do you?I suspect I useall the same words you do.I suspect you don't.In speech,yes, because you're shy.But I bet you're moreaccomplished in your writing.Thank you.Your good sense, that's allyour husband was smitten with?And my efficient habits.That's all?My handy ways.Dyer likes mechanical things.I have no doubt he would'vebeen happierhad he been allowed to pursuethe natural scientific bentof his mind.Circumstances forced himinto farming.And despite all of that,his heart compelled him to you?Well...You would have to ask himabout that.And what would you sayif I asked you?I suppose that as a suitor,he was...not generous, but he was just.And that he was affectionate,if not constant.I wasn't sureof his suitability.But my family felt that moreimprovingmight be in the offing.After all, it is a long lanethat has no turning.You both have muchto be thankful for.We do.It's still too soon.Sorry.Tuesday, February 19th.My reluctance seemsto have become his shame.His nighttime pleasures,which were never numerous,have curtailed even more.And I have so far refusedto engage his persistenceon the subject of another child.Evening.This is myhusband Finney.And you already know Dyer.Our paths have crossed.And this is the Abigailthat I've been mentioning.My wife talks about you asif you're all about the house,and everythingreminds her of you.Oh, well, it's all I can dobut sit cross-legged and morosewhenever she's away.- Come in.- Thank you.The rain so heavythat it broke down our mill.Did you miss me?Yes.You look different.No...Finney seems agreeable.Yes, he is,when he chooses to be.I guess I'msupposed to offer a toast.But when it comesto the social graces,I'm about as smooth as comingdown a rocky hill in the dark.What my husband meansis he's so happyto finally get together,and to see Dyer again.Cheers.Part of what I valueabout my wifeis how she taught me toassociate with my fellow beings.Finney, that's a handsomeneck tie you've chosen.Thank you.But with my neck,my head sticks out like achicken in a poultry wagon.Your tart waswonderfully savory.Oh, did you like it?I'm so glad.I was worried I wouldn'thave enough eggs- because we had an accident.- Oh.My hired hand pulled down abox of eggs and broke two dozen.I announced that he wasunlucky to eggsand no longer allowedto approach them."Unlucky to eggs."I like that.I told him that his shirthad so many holes,he can make a necklace of it.Well, we often wishwe could afford a hired hand.We've suffered a great deal fromthe carelessness of hired hands.Mr. Holt's hired hand is saidto have swum his horseover the canal despite the cold.Really?Yes.Winter's been so hard,sometimes Mrs. Weldon's sonhas had to deliver the mailon skis.Now our letters can get lostat breakneck speed.Did you write letters to Talliewhen you were courting?I did.And did Tallie keep them?Only Tallie knows for sure.Monday, February 25th.Finney and Tallie's bondconfounds me.At times, when their eyes meet,they seem yoked in oppositionto one another,while at other times,there seems a shared regard.There is something going onbetween usthat I cannot unravel.Hold this here.Okay.Thank you.Hello, Dyer.Well, hello.You're off?Yes, to town.Have a good day.She'll be pleased to see you.Happy birthday!Brought you some things.Hand-knitted?I hoped you'd like them.I do.An Atlas!The United States of America.Oh and a little pot ofapple sauce with an egg on top.My feet are freezing.Oh, let me warm them.How's Finney?He's Finney.Ah, it tickles.My husband recordstrespassers in his journals.And this morning,when I asked himwhat he intends to doabout them,his response was so unpleasantthat I...resolved to visit you...so that there would be somethingin my dayother than his meanness.Dyer thinks he hasmany estimable qualities.He does.And he also uses a ledger tokeep accounting of whom I visitand how long I stay.Why?I have no idea.As he's gotten more like this,I've given up tryingto figure outall the peculiarities of his...odd little world.I suppose he's especiallyunhappy with me since...I'm yet to give him a child.What does it feel like?Like nothing at first.But then when she beganto stir...it's like butterfliesflapping their wings.Later, like a rabbit...when she kicked her legsat night.It frightens me.The thought of havingnone of that.And of giving birth.Most of us feel that way.But...when the time comes,I will be there...to guide you through it.Dyer must want another child.I understand.Birthday gifts.A box of raisins.That needle caseyou've been needing.And a tin of sardines.You spoil me.Oh, you got giftsfrom your new friend.She left hours ago.I just saw her leave.The great storm beganwith a faint groaningin the northeast.It was like a noiseof a locomotive.Help!Come closer, girl.It's warmer over here.I'm sorry, I'll be going.You should wait it out.Come on, mare.Dyer!Dyer!Dyer!How long would it bebefore I receive word of Tallie?How long could I wait?How long will the feedin the barn last?Each cow eats 26 poundsof forage every day.You should know that.They start to skinny downafter three days.Heard the newspaper predictsthe storm'll let up by then.But that's probably based onan expert's consultationof a goose bone."In a real crisis of nature,we're all at another's mercy."Yes.My mother liked to say,"We tumble from onemortification to another."When I was seven, an earthquakeknocked down our house and barn.Did I tell you?Never.- An earthquake?- Yes.I remember something woke mebefore dawn.I don't know what.My father was calling out.But I couldn't tear myselfaway from the window.I saw birds flutteringin the air, afraid to set down.The river was roiling,and I couldn't move.And then...Finally, I jumped downto our collapsed stairwell,as all my brothershad done before me.And we all huddled togetherin the dark on the porch.Later, my mother saidthat the dread never fullywent away after that.She said, "What was safe ifthe solid earth could do that?"Mother.Tallie! You're frozen!Tallie! Stay awake!Stay awake!Open your eyes! Open your eyes!Keep your eyes open!Keep your eyes open!Look at me.I would die without you.Then you're safe.Because I am here.Monday, March 17th.Half the chickens are lost.I dug ice and snowfrom their dead open mouthsin an attempt to revive them.Hobnails...For better traction.The Widow Weldon'sson, on his rounds,reported that Talliehad gotten home safely,with, he thought,only a bit of frostbite.We haven't seen your frienddown the lane for a while.Finney took her to Oneonta.So everything is tediousand lonesome?Thursday, April 10th.Biscuits and dried mackerelfor breakfast.Dyer has augmentedthe padding in the cattle penswith his hoardingsof maple leaves and old straw.It always seemsthat Tallie will never appear.But I remind myself that timeand the needle wearthrough the longest morning.And I have notedthat when she does arrive,my heart is like a leafborne over a rockby rapidly moving water.Hello. Oh!Oh! Careful.Stay. Sit, sit.Saturday, April 12th.- I spent the last two days...- Very damp, cloudy and cool.Smoky.Perhaps the forestis somewhere on fire.Your nose is being gracious.Monday, April 14th.A terribly bad spring so far,but the cloverhas come up through it,and is all right.And how's Finney?The soul of patience.He's mentioning again the ideaof migrating west.You're planning on moving west?Perhaps.I had an uncle who moved to Ohioand came to a desperate end.Which is what onemight expect from Ohio.- Tomorrow?- Hm.Thursday, April 17th.Rain in torrentsnearly all night.The lane is floodedand the ditches brim full.This morning,only a slight shower.Tallie came laterthan her usual time today.She offered no explanation.I'm sorry that your childhoodwas anything less than joyous.Joyous it was not.But I made my own happinesses.My husband says, "Godputs heavy stones in your path,it's up to usto step over them."Stones are whatthe fortunate receive.My mother's mother was bornin 1780right here in Schoharie County.I often wonder at the courageand the resourcefulnessof those women.Imagine faring forthinto a wilderness,hoping to build the foundationsof a home.Maybe they had a certain highhopefulness that we don't have.When can you come?Tuesday.- Hello, Tallie!- Good day.Was your afternoon gladsome?Yes, it was, very.- Goodbye.- Goodbye.I felt,looking at her expression,as if she werein full sail on a flood tide,while I bobbedalong down backwards.And yet,I never say on her countenancethe indifferenceof fortunatetowards the less fortunate.Good day.Good day.Are you sick, too?Not at all.I was hoping to compare colds.I'll make you tea and honey?What?Every morning I wake upand I think that I neverwant to be far from you.And under your influence,since you're so good with words,I've composed a poem.It's entitled..."Oh, Sick and Miserable Heart,Be Still."When I was a little girl,I thought I could cultivatemy intellectand do something for the world.But my life has surprised meby being far more ordinary.You're talking about that momentthat I have dreamed about,when we're carried in triumphfor having done somethingwonderful or received at homewith tears and shouts of joy.Do you know what I wonder?Is it possible...that such a moment hasn'tyet come for either of us?I think it has.Or that it could.You do.So what do you think?What do you think about us?I don't know howto put it into words.Well, try.- I have tried.- Well, try again.What do you imagine?I imagine that I lovehow our encircling feelingsleave nothing out...for us to want or seek.I've presumed too much.It's been my experiencethat it's not always thosewho show the leastwho actually feel the least.Just my dog's toenailson the wood.Why didn't you dowhat you attempted to do?I worry you'll catch my cold.You smell like a biscuit.I have to go home.Astonishment and joy.Astonishment and joy.Astonishment and joy.You haven't accomplishedany of your responsibilities.- Do you need assistance?- No, I don't think so.So it's a cold platefor supper tonight?I'll milk the cows.Friday, May 30th.The sunshine streamingthrough the branchesmakes a tremendous farragoof light and shade.We hold our friendshipbetween us and study it,as if it were the incompletemap of our escape.When the day is done,my mind turns to her,and I think,with a special heat,"Why are we to be separated?"Your smile stopped.Is it meant for someone else?Sorry, my mind was elsewhere.We need calico and buttonsand shoe thread.Am I troubling you,sitting here with you like this?Not at all.I may be late coming to it,but I've learnedconsideration of others.I've learned the needfor human sympathyand the unfulfilled want of it.I feel I've provided youwith sympathy.I suppose that's so.The smile returns.Good day.Oh.I believe that intimacyincreases goodwill.And if that's the case,then every minutewe spend togetherwill make usmore cheerful workers.Won't our farms benefitfrom that?Won't our husbands?All our burdenswill be lightened.When she left,I was like a skiff at seawith neither hand nor helmto guide it.They're cleaning out the drainunder the street along the fork.And several peopleare down with fever.Holt came by to hang the bacon.He still hasn't recovered frombeing beaten by two strangers.He had to be hauled to his homein his cart.He said the men who did itwere gonna kill him,and then realized they weremistaken as to who he was.Lately, it seems likeall you talk aboutare highwaymenand house breakers.On the contrary,I often deferto your sensitivities.And I haven't eventold you aboutall the reportsin the county of menwho've poisonedand killed their wivesbecause I haven't found ita fitting subject for supper."Killed their wives,"he used those words?Mm-hm. those words.Have you had any disagreements?Yes, about my wifely duties.I told him that I was opposedto it, that I was not willing.And he accepted that?Well, he hasn'ttouched me since, so...But I made myselffeel better...by composing a poem.Can I readyou the opening stanza?You can read me the entire poem.No, I'll start withthe opening stanza."I love flowering gardens.I love creeping plants.I love walking in the air,but I fear swarming ants."I don't think I cansupport the rhyme.You see why I didn'tread the whole thing?I'm sorry.I've always been contraryand maladroit.Earlier, I... I felt that...whenever I would draw closeto you, you would retreat,and that, if I kept still,you would returnbut you'd stay at a distance,like those sparrowsthat stay in the farmyardand won't come into the house.- That's not how I feel.- How do you feel, then?When I was in school,the teacher had meread "Cordelia"to an older boy's "King Lear."Near the end of the play,the king and his daughterare imprisoned,but he views itin a positive way."Come, let's away to prison,"he says."We two alone shall singlike birds in a cage."Imprisoned...In a positive way?Well, maybe that one has to readthe entire play.It may be only in playswhere peopleare imprisonedin a positive way.You don't think there's a cagethat could work to our benefit?I just...I only know that...I've never liked cages.I hope you had a good afternoonin Shangri-La or Timbuktu,wherever it is you've been.I had a busy afternoon, yes.I would think.Five hours you've been gone.I went to the drapers.I couldn't find anythingI liked.Then I stopped by the tinkerfor a sack of coffee,but he's now asking 60 cents,and I only had 50.Then I thought I would buy youa treat of some kind,but Mr. Arnolds reminded methat I still owedfor my last transactions so...I was forcedto close up my purse.Tell me everythingabout your day.Don't hold anything back.You're not interested inhow your wife spends her time.I don't feel I have a wife.I feel I have a selfish whorewho...who'd rather wander offto another man's housethan contribute any labor.Well, Dyer was offin the fields,and her houseis on the way back home, so...So it's just Abigail and youtittering and gossipingaway the hours?Enjoying each other's company.I have certain expectations,and you have certain duties.We've talked all night and dayabout your expectations.I will not stay with a womanif it continually requirescontention.Well, then you shouldn't staywith me, should you?Don't ask for morethan you can handle.Sunday, June 8th.All afternoon, a hawk has beenusing a single cloud above usas its own parasol.To ward off others of its kind.Our whole house nowseems both angry and repentant.God help us.When three days went bywithout a word from her,I stole over to her houseto look on herfrom what I imagined to bea vantage pointof perfect safety.By turning the lens piece,I could draw her face nearer,and hold it thereuntil she turned away.Her image provokeda sensation in melike the violencethat sends a floating branchfar out overa waterfall's precipicebefore it plummets."For the wife does not havethe authority over her own body,but the husband does.Do not deprive one another,so that Satan may not tempt youbecause of your lackof self-control."Ephesians 5:33. "Submit to yourown husbands, as to the Lord..."Monday, June 9th.Merciful father...Turn the channel of events.Wednesday, June 11th.Dyer has been silent all day,and I was happy to be leftin my solitude.Hello!Tallie...We haven't seen you for days.Have you been ill?- Nothing serious, I hope.- Ho!She's been under the weather.- Good afternoon.- Good afternoon.We want to invite you to dinneragain this Saturday next.But it's our turn.We should be feasting you.In the meantime,please be our guests.We'd love to.Six?- Six it is.- Hup!My mother once told mein a furywhen I was a little girlthat my fatherasked nothing of herexcept thatshe work in the garden,harvest the produce,preserve the fruit,tend the poultry,milk the cows,manage the household duties,and help out in the fieldswhen needed.She said she appearedin his ledgeronly when she purchased a dress.Am I anywhere in there?I'm recording spring expenses.And how havethings changed?Daughters are married offso youngthat everywhere you looka slender and unwilling girlis being forced to stema sea of tribulationsbefore she is even full-grownin height.That's its purpose!Come on. Come on.Morning.Morning, Jim.Morning, ma'am.I've got a new book for you.Do you know,I'd actually like to seethat blue dress you have there.All right, lady.Over here!It's two and a half.I'll take it.My change?Thank you.The Mannings' oldestdaughter tipped over an oil lampand it set the house ablaze.- Fire!- Ho! Ho!- Fire!- Before she was drivenfrom the house by the flames,she heard calls from her sister,who was trappedin the upper loft.Get her out of there.Cassie!Get her out!Get her out!Your wife is to be commendedon her hospitality and cooking.I can recall the day...No, thank you....when every family was fed,clothed, shot, sheltered,and warmed from the productsa good wifegathered withinher own fence line.I heard down by the loggersthat Mrs. Mannings' oldestgot fiercely burnedin the house fire.- Cassie.- And died.Yes, she did.Well, as my father used to say,"The supreme disposerof all eventsdoes sometimes disappointour earthly hopes."What a marvelous hanging lamp.Finney purchased it sothat everyone could readwith equal ease around the room.I wasn't brought up to readover much,but I do believe a fathershould give his childrenevery chance to improve.Children being a sore pointin this household.And yours, I'd expect.You'll have to forgivemy husband.Even so,whatever misfortunesarrive at my doorstep,I seek to improve my lotwith my own industry.I...I study my options closely,and just attend to everythingwith more vehemence.Well, then you should becommended for that.I'll give you an example.When I first began farming,I was so vexedat my own inabilityto stop my dogs barkingthat one January,during a storm,I held the dog aroundthe corner of the barn in a galeuntil it froze to death.I nearly froze to death myself,at least froze my hands,even with my heavy work gloves.That is reprehensible.Did I see outsidethat you use an old shovel plow?Well, since you're interestedin my machinery,I have a hinged harrowthat's been giving me trouble.The spikes catch the rocksand roots, and they break off.Well, our harrowhas upright discs.Work better?Yeah, it seems to.Bring the desserts.I think we're stuffed.My husband insistson his pastriesand preserved fruits and creams.Well, good.What is happening?Are you in danger?What happened to your neck?No, I just took a fallover a fence.I hadn't heard.There are many things aboutwhich you haven't heard.Back at the table,Tallie kept strict custodyof her eyes.Her husband's moodseemed to have darkened.He served the pastriesand creams himself,leaving only her plate empty.Saturday, June 21st.My heart a maelstrom.My head a bedlam.A whole weekand no visit from Tallie.No word.My anxieties often force meto stop my workand pace the houselike an inmate.I have to see her.Ho, ho!Tallie! Tallie!What has happened?They're gone.And no goodbye?We need to call the sheriff.And report what exactly?That our neighbors moved?It's the Zebrun farm.They were renting.I'll go then.For what reason?There's blood!And you never had an accident?So we'll just do nothing?I'll make the roundsof the neighbors.And if we are not satisfied,we can take your fearsto the sheriff.Thank you.Monday, June 23rd.Dyer said Mrs. Nottowayrecalled spotting their caravanon the country road in thelate evening, heading northwest.Mrs. Nottoway?She believed she spiedTallie's figurealongside her husband'sbut was unsure.A hired hand, she thought,was driving the second wagon.Sunday, June 29thI spotted the sheriffon his way to church.I conveyed my accusations,to no response.Dyer said that no one wouldinvestigate a crimewithout evidence that a crimehad been committed.Calm myself?I refused to calm myself,so he tied me to a chairand administered laudanum.Monday, June 30th.Bleary and short of breathfrom the laudanum...I wake weeping,retire weeping,stand before my duties weeping.Sunday, July 6th.I am a library without books,a sea of fear,agitation and want.Dyer speaks of how much wehave for which to be grateful.I sit violently consciousof the ticking clockwhile he weepsat what he imaginesto be his own poor,forgotten self.Wednesday, July 9th.Despite some hourswithout the laudanum,I was so befoggedand wild with griefthat Dyer left mefor the afternoon,unsettled and wary of my state.Tuesday, July 22nd.- Weldon?- Good day.The renters at Zebrun's farmare gone.Did they leavea forwarding address?No. You've got a letter.Hyah.Is it from her?It is.- Oh.- Origin?Onondaga County. Do you know it?It's north of Syracuse.Are you gonna read it?To myself.Abigail, Abigail, Abigail.I'm sorry that all I haveto send you is this letter,and I'm sorry for allthat a letter cannot be.Even the best letteris just a little bit of someone.I'm sorry I never gotto say goodbye,and I'm sorry that we seemto have tradedone sort of misery for another.It turns out that houses deepin the backwoodsalways seem to be awful andunnatural in their loneliness.If there were onlya ruined abbeyaround here with bats in it,the view would be perfect.Our roof is ramshackle and shedswater nicely in dry weatherbut we have to spread milk pansaround the floor when it rains.Still, outside the kitchen,there are already anemonesand heart's-ease,and even prettier flowerswhich my stupiditykeeps me from naming for you.I believe I've enjoyed myselfless these last few weeksthan any other femalewho ever lived.During what little timeI have to myself,Finney reads aloudinstructions for wivesfrom the Old Testament.But when it comes to the Bible,I have to say thatthere are a lot of passageshe may know word for word,but which haven't touchedhis heart.I can't account for his stateof mind except to saythat my company must beintensely disagreeable to him.And if that's the case,I'm sorry for it.Ho...Good afternoon!Afternoon.Whoa.Hey.I've got something for you.There you go.Thank you.Good day.Hyah. Come on.- Is it for me?- From Schoharie County.- Your Abigail.- Give that to me.Give it. Finney, give...Finney!"What's to becomeof the thousands of our sexscattered out in the wildernessand obligedto tax our strengths?I feel as if,at that selfsame hourwhen our prospectswere brightest,that in the dim distancea black shadow approached.And yet still,imagine the happiest of unionsfor us of the sortin which two families previouslyat daggers drawnare miraculously broughttogether on love's account.It is your faceI bear through the night.It is to you I devotea dreaming spacebefore I turn myself to sleep,but there is no sleep.It's as if within me everythingclamors for air,and I thinkif it's like this now,what will it be like later?I send you what loveand support I can.I send you all my heart's hopes.Abigail."Please knowthat force alonecouldn't have gotten me hereto a place like this.I was told I had to actin support of interest,happiness and the reputationof someone I once loved.As far as I can figure,we're now still only about85 miles apart.But of course,people like usdon't go on long visits.Dyer refused firstto permit my departure,and then to accompany me,and only caught up to the cartat the end of our propertyand climbed aboard.We were the very pictureof anguish,rattling along side by side.The night was fair and warm withthe appearance of a coming rain.A shower.It's so hardto write abouthow much I want to thank you,but I have to start somewhere.Abigail...I want to tell you that beingwith you, even alone,has been like being a partof the biggestand most spacious communityI could ever imagine.I feel closer to youthan I would a sister sinceeverything amazing that I feel,I chose to feel.And do you know what memoryit is that I most cherish?It's of you turning to mewith that smile you gave meonce you realizedthat you were loved.I have no way of knowingwhat is to come,but I do knowthat all of the trustand care and courage we shared,that will all shine on usand protect us.You are my city of joy.You are my city of joy.Whoa.Might I askyour business?We've come to see Tallie.Where is she?I heard you on the road.You made such a racket.I took you for the tin knocker.We've ridden for three days.We are not leavingwithout seeing her.I'm not concerned with what youwill or will not leave without.Keep a civil tongue,friend.Where is she?I treated her with tea of sootand pine-tree rootto good effect,but sickness always testsour willingnessto bow beforethe greatest authority.My guess isthat it was diphtheria.No!There is somealienation from marital...What time is it?I don't care.- I have to go.- You're gonna make a mark.Come on.Come on.Come on.Sunday, August 31st.Weather very hot and sunny.I cleaned out the shedwhich was full of rustyand dusty rubbish,washed the windows,and preserved applesfor the winter.Fourteen dollars from the saleof our milk and butter.I have cut my handwith a paring knife.I console myselfwith the convictionthat someday in the futurewhen Dyeris forced to travel to Syracusefor feed or supplies,I will join him,and take his rifleand go to Skaneatelesand kill Finney where he sits.Dyer has been at workon the barn.Each day,we enact our separation.Sometimes after it gets dark,we walk over the hillsacross our upper fieldsfor the wide, wide view.And Dyer tries to imagine usas we were,while I try to imagine Tallieand that cordialand accepting homethat existed solelyin our dreams.I imagine Tallie and Nelliesomewhere together,and Nellie running her brushthrough Tallie's hair.I imagine banishing foreverthose sentiments of my ownthat she chastened and refined.I imagine resolving to dowhat I can for Dyer.And I imagine continuingto write in this ledger,here,as though this was my life.As though my lifewas not elsewhere.I've always fearedthat I would bring misfortuneto those I loved.Are you really saying nothingto that?I don't know where to start.I can't imagine what morewe could do for one another...with our constraints.You can't?I can't.You can't?Well, then...It's a good thing we rememberthat our imaginationscan always be cultivated.

《the world to come》更像是说来生！

泪目让我又去找了《燃烧女子的肖像》温馨回顾了一遍！

边看边哭！

阿比盖尔和塔莉，也正是这半梦半醒中的一员。

来吧，我们去监狱，就像在笼子里唱歌的鸟儿。

”阿比盖尔认为，即使被囚在鸟笼里，也依旧能放声歌唱。

但塔莉不同，在笼子里，她便无法发声。

所以，她逃到了阿比盖尔这里，从由窒息的生活所编织的铁笼中脱身。

她试图逃离丈夫的控制、逃离所谓妇道的禁锢，最终成了殉道者。

她两不同的态度决定了这种爱情是在特定环境下的互相欣赏，但却不是灵魂共鸣。

《打开心世界》承袭自原著的日记体叙事是最为突出的特点。

这一处理手法有着明显的风险，一方面，引自小说的大量旁白喧宾夺主地削弱了影像本身的情感表现力，另一方面，由阿比盖尔主导的封闭性叙事中数次插入的塔莉视角，也造成了影片叙述视角上的突兀断裂。

但尽管如此，日记体仍是《打开心世界》不得不采用的必要形式，托起了触及女性命运的深刻主题表达。

如阿比盖尔所言，“墨水像火焰”， 在记录与书写中，女性的存在，她们的挣扎、情感和欲望才得以被看见，被留存。

影片中出现了多种记录的形式，其中非常有趣的一种，是标示着逃亡路径的地图册。

电影开头与标题同现的纽约上州地图已经充分说明了地图册这一意象的重要性，而接下来的故事中，地图册充当起了划分各幕的标志物件，既是塔莉送上的贴心礼物，也指引着阿比盖尔踏上寻找爱人的险途，完成一次精神上的出走。

《打开心世界》通过女性凝视丰富了女性在长久以来存在于男性文学中的刻板印象。

通过对于女性角色的大量着墨，本片深刻讨论了非现代化的父权社会对于女性的定位。

在这种社会环境下，女性必须要跟随丈夫的脚步全身心地投入到对于家庭的付出当中。

她们要以牺牲自我与自由为代价来换取家庭的和睦，并且作为不被认可的协助者来帮助丈夫达成人生目标。

她们在丈夫眼里不应该有自己的喜好、思考、主权、独立人格。

她们也不可以拒绝丈夫的性需求。

在以Finney为代表的传统普信男的视角里，丈夫拥有绝对主导妻子身体的权利，并且妻子拒绝丈夫的性需求会被视为“不忠”。

通过肢体暴力与宗教思想压迫的双重打压之下，妻子们的自信会很快被击垮，从而在真正意义上全身心地服从于她的丈夫。

有人说这部电影里有两个重要的道具，一个是女人的日记，另一个就是男人的账本。

在女人的日记里，充满了在枯燥生活之余她内心丰富的情感，而在男人的账本则强化了女人的边缘感，因为只有在记录花销时，她才会进入这个账本，才会走进男人的视野，才有了一种所谓的存在感。

但我想说，平凡人的生活其实就是这样，不光是女人，男人也一样，甚至男人的待遇比女人更差。

男人就天生没有敏感的情愫吗？

或许是吧。

但或许在大部分地区和大部分家庭里，情愫都是要靠边站的东西，尤其是在19世纪的美国以及与那个时代的美国处在同一生产力水平的其它地区。

在电影里，被绿的两个男人都不算有权有势的人，充其量只能算两个靠精打细算完成了原始积累的中产阶级。

在这样的环境下，情愫可能是最无用东西。

我觉得这不是一种直男思维，而一种生存的本能。

剧中两个家庭都提到了小孩的问题，一个是早夭，另一个是无子。

这样的情节确实凸现了女人作为一种生育工具的悲剧性，但对男人来说，不也一样么？

你以为他们掌握了什么所谓的男权，就是高高在上的主宰，其实不过是在繁衍的本能驱使下想尽可能地保存自己以及父祖辈的劳动成果代代相传罢了。

男人们终其一生，也只是在给基因打工，以便自己的基因在传承到下一代时，能有一个更舒适的生存环境。

换言之，在克服生存障碍之前，其实无论女人还是男人都是在社会化生产的规定约束中茫然度过自己的一生。

男人或许天生就没有女人那样的敏感和情愫，而这正是男人的可悲之处。

因为即便在自己心爱的账本里，也同样只有在记录花销时自己才有出现的机会，甚至他都没意识到，这是唯一能够证明自己存在过的证据。

女人被男人忽视当然是可悲的，但男人被命运忽视就不可悲么？

更可悲的是，男人甚至都没有申诉的权利，因为女人说你们男人掌握了所谓的男权。

女人被男人轻蔑地凝视，男人则被命运轻蔑地凝视，这就是多数人一生的全部。

这部电影在看第一遍的时候，将精力大致集中在了台词文本上，再看第二遍的时候，才更多地关注剧情、构图、场景、心理活动等内容。

或许是因为男女思维方式不同地原因，发现在捕捉演员情感细微之处，女导演所呈现出来的画面往往更加细腻，自然。

尤其是像这种文本性又很强的女同性恋片，它的一字一句，每个画面所对应的电影镜头或许都只是冰山一角。

而导演要做的就是让观众透过画面的冰山一角窥探其全貌。

在我看来，本片的导演恰恰做到了这点。

怀着对这部电影的喜爱之情，以及对文本台词的浓厚兴趣，遂将阿比盖尔日记中的台词整理下来。

Tuesday, January, 1st, 1856Fair and very cold.This morning,ice in our bedroom for the first time all winter.（天气晴朗而寒冷，我发现卧室结冰了，这是今年的第一次）The water froze on the potatoes as soon as they were washed.With little pride,and less hope, we begin the new year.（土豆刚洗好上面水就结成了冰.没有一丝锐气，也不抱任何希望,新的一年又开始了）On the porch after sunup,I could hear the low chirping of sparrows in the hedgerows that are now buried in the snow.（站在日出的门廊，我能听到麻雀的声音，它们在雪中的树篱上低鸣）Dyer has maintained that with good health,and a level head,there is always an excellent chance for a farmer willing to work.（戴尔一直坚信，只要有好的身体，保持头脑冷静，那么勤勉的农民就一定会有好运降临）He feel he can never fully rid himself of his burdens.And I’m certain that because his mind is in such a bad state,it affects his whole system.（他觉得自己永远也无法摆脱那些负担.我敢肯定，那是因为他的精神状态很差，这影响了 他整个人）He told me this morning that contentment was like a friend he never gets to see.（他今天早晨告诉我，满足对他来说遥不可及）Since our acquisition of this farm,my husband had kept a ledger to help him see the year whole.（自从收购了这个农场，我丈夫就开始记账，为理清一年的财务情况）This way he knows what each crop and field pays from year to year.（这样他就知道每年每种作物，每块地的收成）And Dyer has asked me to keep a diary of matters that might otherwise go overlooked.....（戴尔当我写好备忘录，避免忘记一些事情）From tools lent out to bills outstanding.That I have done.（像是借出的工具或者未付的账单我一直在写）But there would be no record in these dull and simple pages of the most passionate circumstances of our seasons past.（但这些单调而简约的记录从来没有记录我们真正重要的事，我们过去的岁月）No record of our emotions or fears.Our greatest joys.Our most piercing sorrows.（没有记录过我们的心绪，我们的恐惧，我们的幸福，我们刺骨的悲伤）With our child,it was as if I’d found my bearings.But I too rarely told her that she was our treasure.（有了孩子后，我仿佛找到了人生的意义，但是我很少告诉她，她是我们的珍宝）She often seemed separate from us,as if she was working at just fitting in where she could.（她很独立，好像在努力适应身边的一切）There is something so affecting about mute and motionless grief and illness in a child so young.（有些事情如此令人心痛，她小小的身体经历着无言而凝滞的忧伤和病痛）She put her arms around me and said nothing else.But it felt like we were speaking.（她双臂环抱着我，什么也没说，但又像什么都说了）I have become my grief（我沉溺在悲伤之中）Sunday, February, 3th“Welcome sweet day of rest”,says the hymn.（“迎接幸福的安息”，赞美诗是这样写的）And Sunday is most welcome for it’s few hours of quiet ease.（星期天是最受欢迎的，因为大家可以享受片刻安宁）As for me ,I no longer attend.After the calamity of Nellie’s loss,what calm I enjoy.（至于我，我不再参加了，在失去了内莉后，我想获得安宁）does not derive from the notion of a better world to come.（不是为了未来或者死后的天堂）I want to purchase an atlas.（我想买本地图集）Monday, February ,4thWhy is ink like fire?Because it is a good servant,and a hard master.（为什么说墨石是火？

你能驾驭它，它就是忠仆，你不能驾驭，它就是难缠的魔鬼）My self-education seems the only way to keep my unhappiness from overwhelming me（我不断学习，好像只有这样才能从悲伤中保持自我）She saw I had noticed her hair,and admitted she had been vain about it as a girl.（她看到我注意到了她的头发，她承认，从小她就对自己的头发感到自豪）She said that back then,she’d worn it longer and plaited in a bun at the back of her head.（她说那时候他的头发比现在长，然后在后脑勺上扎个马尾）In the winter sun through the window,her skin had an underflush of rose and violet.（冬日的阳光透过窗户，她的皮肤呈现出玫瑰和紫罗兰的颜色）which so disconcerted me that I had to look away.（它使我如此不安，以至于我不得不把目光移开）As always,when it came to speaking and attempting to engage another’s affections,circumstances doomed me to striving and anxiety.（像往常一样，当我想说话或者试图吸引别人注意力的时候，我总是对周围一切感到焦虑）From my earliest,I was like a pot-bound root,all curled in upon itself.（从少年时代起，我就像一颗长在锅里的树，所有根全部蜷缩在一小块空间）Thursday, February ,14thDyer’s third night with the fever.（戴尔发烧的第三个晚上）I’ve restored him somewhat with an enema of molasses,warm water and lard.Also a drop of turpentine next to his nose.（我尝试让他舒服些，试了灌肠治疗，用糖浆 温水 和猪油灌肠，还在他的鼻子滴了松节油）I spent the day reconsidering my conversation with Tallie（我花了一整天回忆我和胎莉的谈话）We compared childhood beds......Mine in which the straw was always breaking up and thinning out.And hers,which was as hard,she claimed,as the Pharaoh’s heart.（我们比较了小时候的床，我的床是稻草的，总是散架，很松软.她说，她的床非常硬,像法老王的心一样）Her manner is sweet and clam and gracious.And yet her spirits seem to quicken,at the prospect of further conversation with me（她的举止甜美 平静 亲切 ，还有她的精神似乎在变好,希望能和我进一步交谈）I find that everything I wish to tell her loses its eloquence in her presence（我发现我有很多想说的在她面前说不出口了）Tuesday, February ,19thMy reluctance seems to have become his shame.His nighttime pleasure,which were never numerous,have curtailed even more.（我的不情愿似乎成了他的耻辱.他本来就不多的晚间娱乐时光甚至变得更少了）And I have so far refused to engage his persistence on the subject of another child（到目前为止，我一直拒绝接受他在另一个孩子的问题上执着的追求）Monday, February ,25thFinney and Tallie’s bond confounds me.At tines,when their eyes meet,they seem yoked in opposition to one another,while at other times,there seems a shared regard.（芬尼和泰莉的关系使我困惑.有时，当他们的目光相遇，他们看起来像敌人，而在其他时间，似乎有一个共识）There is something going on between us that I cant unravel.（我们之间发生了一些我无法想明白的事）The great storm began with a faint groaning in the northeast. It was like a noise of a locomotive.（大风暴开始了，东北方向传来微弱的呻吟声，那声音就像火车发出的噪声）Monday, March ,17thHalf the chickens are lost.I dug ice and snow from their dead open mouths in an attempt to revive them.（一半的鸡都死了，我从他们半开的嘴里挖出冰和雪，试图救活他们）The Widow Weldon’s son,on his rounds,reported that Tallie had gotten home sately,with ,he thought,only a bit of frostbite.（威尔顿寡妇的儿子，在他巡逻的时候，告诉我泰莉已经安全到家了.他觉得泰莉只是有点冻伤）Thursday, April ,10thBiscuits and dried mackerel for breakfast.Dyer has augmented the padding in the cattle pens with his hoardings of maple leaves and old straw.（我们早餐吃了饼干和干鲭鱼，戴尔给牛栏里补充了一些稻草，还用枫叶和干稻草做了一个临时栏杆）It always seems that Tallie will never appear.But I remind myself that time and the needle wear through the longest morning.And I have noted that when she does arrive，my heart is like a leafBorne over a rock by rapidly moving water.（似乎泰莉永远不会再出现了，但我数着日子，用针线活打发漫漫清晨.我意识到，当她真的到来时，我的心就像一片落叶被湍急的水流推向了岩石）Saturday, April ,12thI spent the last two days...Very damp,cloudy and cool.Smoky.Perhaps the forest is somewhere on fire.（过去这两天，空气是潮湿的，多云的，凉爽的，如烟雾般的，也许森林深处着火了）Monday, April ,14thA terrible bad spring so far,but the clover has come up through it,and is all right（到目前为止，这都是一个糟糕透顶的春天，但是三叶草已经长了出来，还不错）Thursday, April ,17thRain in torrents nearly all night.The lane is flooded and the ditches brim full.（倾盆大雨几乎下了整夜，巷子被淹了，水沟也溢满了）This morning,only a slight shower.Tallie came later than her usual time today.She offered no explanation.（今天早上只有毛毛细雨，泰莉今天比平时来得晚，她没有做出任何解释）Tuesday, April ,22thI felt,looking at her expression,as if she were in full on a flood tide,while I bodded along down backward.And yet,I never say on her countenance the indifference of fortunate towards the less fortunate.（我能感觉到，从她的表情中感觉到，她好像乘着风速般极速前进着，然而我却在倒退,然而，我从未从她的脸上看出幸运之人对不幸之人的漠不关心）Friday, April ,25thAstonishment and joy,Astonishment and joy,Astonishment and joy,（惊喜与喜悦，惊喜与喜悦，惊喜与喜悦）Friday, May ,30thThe sunshine streaming through the branches makes a tremendous farrago of light and shade.We hold our friendship between us and study it,as if were the incomplete map of our escape.（阳光穿过树枝，明暗交错,我们保持着友谊，逐渐深入,就好像那是我们逃跑的残缺地图）When the day is done,my mind turns to her,and I think,with a special heat.（一天结束，我的思绪飞向了她，还带着一股特殊的激情）“Why are we to be separated?”（“为什么我们注定要分开？

”）When she left,I was like a skiff at sea with neither hand nor helm to guide it.（她离开的时候，我就像是海上的小船没有手也没有舵来引导）Sunday, June,8thAll afternoon,a hawk has been using a single cloud above us as its own parasol.（整个下午，一只鹰一直在用我们头顶上的云当做自己的遮阳伞）Our whole house now seems both angry and repentant.God help us.（我们全家现在看起来记愤怒又后悔.上帝保佑我们）When three days went by without a word from her.I stole over to her house to look on her from what I imagined to be a vantage point of perfect safety.（三天过去了，她一点消息也没有，我悄悄地来到她家附近一处我认为绝对安全的高地看她）By turning the lens piece,I could draw her face hearer,and hold it there until she turned away.（通过运转镜头，我能清楚的看到她的脸，并保持这个位置，直到她转身离开）Her image provoked a sensation in me like the violence that sends a floating branch far out over a waterfall’s precipice before it plummets.（她的形象在我心中激起了千层浪就像一根漂浮的树木在有悬崖的瀑布上突然下降.Monday, June,9thMerciful father...Turn the channel of events.（仁慈的天父，转动了命运的齿轮）Wednesday, June,11thDyer has been silent all day,and I was happy to be left in my solitude.（戴尔一整天都沉默不语，但我很高兴自己能待着）My mother once told me in a fury when I was a little girl that my father asked nothing of her except that she work in the garden,harvest the produce,preserve the fruit,tend the poultry, milk the cows,manage the household duties,and help out in the fields when needed.（我还是个小女孩的时候，母亲曾怒气冲冲的告诉我，我父亲除了让她在花园里工作对她毫无要求，收获果实，保存果实，照料家禽，给奶牛挤奶,管理家务，在需要的时候帮助他们.）She said she appeared in his ledger only when she purchased a dress.（她说只有在买衣服的时候才会出现在他的账本上）And how have things changed?Daughters are married off so young that everywhere you look a slender and unwilling girl is being forced to stem a sea of tribulations,before she is even full-grown in height.（事情是如何改变的，女儿们这么年轻就嫁人了，到处都是苗条又不情愿的女孩被迫去阻止一片苦难的海洋.甚至在她身高发育完全之前）The Mannings’ oldest daughter tipped over an oil lamp and it set the house ablaze.（曼宁家的长女翻倒了一盏油灯，然后房子就着火了）From the house by the flames,she heard calla from her sister who was trapped in the upper loft.（被救出来之前，她听到被困在阁楼里妹妹的呼救声）Back at the table.Tallie kept strict custody of her eyes.Her husband’s mood seemed to have darkened.He served the pastries and creams himself,leaving only her plate empty.（回到桌子上，泰莉一直控制住自己不四处乱瞟.她丈夫的情绪似乎变得阴沉起来.他亲自端上糕点和奶油.只有她的盘子是空的）Saturday, June,21thMy heart a maelstrom.My head a bedlam.A whole week an no visit from Tallie.No word.（我的心是个大漩涡，我的脑袋一片混乱，整整一个星期，泰莉都没来看我，也没有她的消息）My anxieties often force me to stop my work.and pace the house like an inmate.I have to see her.（我太焦虑了，没法干活，我像个囚犯一样在屋子里踱步，我必须见到她）Monday, June,23rdDyer said Mrs. Nottoway recalled spotting their caravan on the county road in the late evening,heading northwest.She believed she spied Tallie’s figure alongside her husband’s but was unsure.（戴尔说诺托维夫人有看到他们的大篷车，深夜里沿着乡间小路上往西北方向去了.她觉得她看到了泰莉的身影，和她丈夫一起，但是又不确定.）A hired hand,she thought,was driving the second wagon.（她觉得有一个雇工正在驾驶第二辆马车）Sunday, June,29thI spotted the sheriff on his way to church.I conveyed my accusations,to no response.（我在警长去教堂的时候碰到了他，我向他报告了此事，但没有得到回应.Dyer said that no one would investigate a crime without evidence that a crime had been committed.（戴尔说没有人会调查一起没有证据证明的罪犯）I refused to calm myself.so he tied me to a chair and administered laudanum.（我拒绝冷静下来，所以他把我绑在椅子上，给我注射鸦片酊）Monday, June,30thBleary and short of breath from the laudanum...I wake weeping,retire weeping,stand before my duties weeping.（因为鸦片酊使我精神不济，呼吸急促，我哭着醒来，哭着睡去，哭着看着我要干的活）Sunday, July,6thI am a library without books,a sea of fear,agitation and want（我是一座没有书的图书馆，我是恐惧，焦虑和欲望的海洋）Dyer speaks of how much we have for which to be grateful.I sit violently conscious of ticking clock while he weeps at what he imagines to be his own poor,forgotten self.（戴尔说我们有很多值得感激的东西，当他为自己想象中的，可怜的，被遗忘的自我哭泣时，我坐在那只觉得滴答作响的闹钟吵得厉害）Wednesday, July,9thDespite some hours without the laudanum,I was so befogged and wild with grief,that Dyer left me for the afternoon.unsettled and way or my state.（尽管有一个小时没有打鸦片酊，我还是如此迷茫，如此悲伤.戴尔今天下午没有管我.对我的处境感到不安和担心）Tuesday, July,22nd收到来信Abigail,Abigail,Abigail.I’m sorry that all I have to send you is this letter, and I’m sorry for all that a letter cannot be.Even the best letter is just a little bit of someone.I’m sorry I never dot to say goodbye,and I’m sorry that we seem to have traded one sort of misery for another.It turns out that houses deep in the backwoods always seem to be awful and unnatural in their loneliness.If there were only a ruined abbey around there with bats in it,the view would be pertect.Our roof is ramshackle and sheds water nicely in dry weather,but we have to spread milk pans around the floor when it rains.Still,outside the kitchen,there are already anemones and heart’s-ease,and even prettier flowers which my stupidity keeps me from naming for you.I believe I’ve enjoyed myself less these last few weeks than any other female who ever lived.During what little time I have to my self,Finney reads aloud instructions for wives from the Old Testament.But when it comes to the Bible,I have to say that there are a lot of passages he may know word for word,but which haven’t touched his heart.I can’t account for his state of mind except to say that my company must be intensely disagreeable to him.And if that’s the case,I’m sorry for it.What’s to become of the thousands of our sex,scattered out in the wilderness,and obliged to tax our strengths?I felt as if,at that selfsame hour when our prospects were brightest,that in the dim distance a black shadow approached.And yet still,imagine the happiest for us of the sort in which who two families previously at daggers drawn are miraculously brought together on love’s account.It is your face I bear trough the night.It is to you I devote a dreaming space before I turn myself to sleep,but there is no sleep.It’s as if within me everything clamors for air,and I think if it’s like this now,what will it be like later?I send you what love and support I can.I send you all my heart’s hopes.Abigail.Please know that force alone couldn’t have gotten me here to a place like this.I was told I had to act in support of interest,happiness and the reputation of someone I once loved.（请记住，只靠蛮力是不可能把我带到这样的地方来的.我被告知我必须采取行动来维护.我曾经爱过的人的利益，幸福和名誉）As far as I can figure,we’re now still only about 85miles apart.But of course,people like us don’t go on long visits.（据我所知，我们现在距离只有85英里,但是当然，像我们这样的人是不能出远门的）Dyer refused first to permit my departure,and then to accompany me,and only caught up to the cart at the end of our property and climbed aboard.We were the very picture of anguish,rattling along side by side .（戴尔先是拒绝我的离开，然后跟着我，追上了马车，我们用尽钱财，爬上了船.我们就是痛苦的真实写照，肩并着肩摇摇晃晃）The night was fair and warm with the appearance of a coming rain.A shower.（那天天气晴朗，暖和，似乎要下雨了.下的是阵雨）It’s so hard to write about hoe much I want to thank you,but I have to set start somewhere.Abigail...I want to tell you that being with you,even alone,has been like being a part of the biggest and most spacious community I could ever imagine.（很难写出我有多么感谢你，但我必须开个头,阿比盖尔...我想告诉你，跟你在一起，即使是一个人，也像是成为了我能想象到的最大最宽敞的社区一员）I feel closer to you than I would a sister since everything amazing that I feel.I chose to feel.（我和你比和亲姐妹还要亲，因为我感受到了那些美妙的事物.我选择去感受）And do you know what memory it is that I most cherish?（你知道我最珍贵的回忆是什么吗）It’s of you turning to me with that smile you gave me，once you realized that you were loved.（是你意识到我爱你时你转向我报之以微笑）I have no way of knowing what is to come,but I do know that all of the trust.and care and courage we shared that will all shine on us,and protect us.You are my city of joy.（我无法知道将会发生什么，但我知道，我们彼此之间的,相互信任，相互关心，相互鼓励，都会照耀我们，保护我们）You are my city of joy.You are my city of joy.（你是我的欢乐之城，你是我的欢乐之城）Sunday, August,31stWeather very hot and sunny.I cleaned out the shed,which was full of rusty and dusty rubbish.（天气炎热，阳光明媚，我把棚子打扫干净了，那里到处都是生锈的，满是灰尘的垃圾）Washed the window,and preserved apples for the winter.Fourteen dollars from the sale of our milk and butter.（擦洗过窗户，把苹果封起来过冬，我们的牛奶的=和黄油卖出去14美元）I have cut my hand with a paring knife.I console myself with the conviction that someday in the future when Dyer is forced to travel to Syracuse for feed or supplies,I will join him,and take his rifle and go to Skaneateles and kill Finney where he sits.（我的手被削皮刀割伤了，我以坚定的信念安慰自己如果未来某一天戴尔不得不前往锡拉库扎寻找食物和生活用品，我会和他一起带着他的步枪去斯卡尼阿特勒斯杀了芬尼）Dyer has been at work on the barn.Each day,we enact our separation.Sometimes after it gets dark,we walk over the hills across our upper fields ,for the wide,wide view.（戴尔一直在谷仓工作，每一天，我们之间的隔阂都在扩大，有时天黑以后，我们翻山越岭，穿过高地，为了有广阔的视野）And Dyer tries to imagine us as we were,while I try to imagine Tallie,and that cordial and accepting home that existed solely in our dreams.（戴尔试图想象我们还是原来的样子，但我想着泰莉，和那种亲切又包容的家庭，可惜这一切只存在于我们的梦中）I imagine Tallie and Nellie somewhere together.and Nellie running her brush through Tallie’s hair.（我想象着某个地方，泰莉和内莉在一起，内莉用梳子梳着泰莉的头发）I imagine banishing forever those sentiments of my own that she chastened and refined.（我想象着永远放逐那些由她切磋琢磨而成的我的情感）I imagine resolving to do what I can for Dyer.（我想象着我下定决心要为戴尔尽我所能）And I imagine continuing to write in this ledger,here,as though this was my life.（我想象着继续在这本账簿上写下去，在这里，好像这就是我的生活）As though my life was not elsewhere.（好像我的生活不在别处）

无意中听到的这首歌，（个人揣测）歌词像极了Tallie表白前的内心写照。

"Short And Sweet" - by Brittany Howard There are miles between usTime between usThere is something between usI may be a fool to dream of youBut, God, it feels so good to dream at allSomething short and sweetThere's always a light over my head for youI am waiting, I am waitingTime will always try to kill meThere are mountains between usThere is time between usOh, ain't there something between us?Something short and sweetI don't care if I shouldDo you wanna hurt me?'Cause I've been hurtin' all aloneIt didn't kill me, noBut it wasn't no funCome and get you someJust the beginningI only want the beginningWe'll give each other all of our bestAnd then, time can do what it wants with itThere are mountains between usThere is time between usOh, ain't there something between us?Something short and sweetSo, why can't I wait?Why can't I wait?Why can't I think?Why can't I wake without you always appearing?Oh,, I better not wait too long'Cause time is gonna kill itTime is gonna kill itTime is gonna kill itTime is gonna kill it